Yeah I'm at this point too. The pandemic restrictions here were severe and I couldn't see the doctor (I was supposed to get on metformin in february but haven't been able to contact a doctor since), go to the gym or purchase any home exercise equipment so I gained all the weight back I'd lost with great difficulty over the preceding year (some 40lbs or so). I had lost it by going to the gym and lifting heavy 5-7 days a week, other exercise and a really strict diet. I kept up the strict diet but the heavy lifting was obviously necessary to maintain the weight loss, and I have over 100 to lose (was misdiagnosed for 7 or so years and put on diets and medications that made me gain about a combined 70lbs on top of the initial PCOS weight gain). I feel like I will never claw my way out of this hole now. I used to be a model, do multiple very taxing sports at a competitive level, and most of my hobbies were athletic or active in nature. Now I have given up almost everything I used to love, I feel ugly and unwell all the time, and my constant severe insomnia/exhaustion have made me drift from many of my friends who still do the "fun" things I no longer can.

Recently gyms reopened and I lost 20lbs in under a month though, honestly on a torturous diet fasting completely 3-4 days per week, eating low carb/OMAD the other days, and working out heavily almost every day, but I'm trying not to give up. You probably shouldn't either because giving up seems more miserable than perservering.