Redditor really wants to know if asexuals like california pizza

submitted by bucetao6969 from files.catbox.moe

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[–]bucetao6969[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

Well, a demisexual is only capable of feeling "the horny" when they have a strong bond with someone.

The "grey" thing is when someone doesn't have strong feelings toward that label. So maybe a grey asexual acts like a normal person in regards to sex, but still has certain asexual characteristics. So that makes sense.

I do admit that some demisexuals are really just your average women. It's because their behaviour is very similar but that's just teenagers trying to "be different" in a world filled with woke.

[–]Dontcaretoday 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

I believe that there are people who experience no sexual feelings ever, which is abnormal enough to have a name for it, but as for all the rest I don't see how those things qualify as distinct sexualities. Not getting aroused unless you have a deep connection with someone isn't that weird, and grey just sounds like low libido, which is also pretty normal. I don't think that there's anything wrong with being either way, it just seems unnecessary to give it a label and a flag unless the purpose behind it is to feel like part of the club.

[–]bucetao6969[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I believe that there are people who experience no sexual feelings ever, which is abnormal enough to have a name for it, but as for all the rest I don't see how those things qualify as distinct sexualities.

I think it came around because certain people felt disconnection towards sex when compared to society as whole. I don't mean just the "act of sex", we have a culture around sex that is difficult to understand if you're in the ace spectrum. For instance a demisexual person could go to the club and don't feel "the horny" when their friends talk about being horny and etc, the demisexual is disconnected from that even if they also have sexual relationships and feel "the horny".

They put all these same people on the "ace spectrum", which means an aromantic individual (don't feel romantic attraction) fits even if they can have all the other human sexual characteristics when we disregard romance. A good way to look at it is really just on the mindset of "lacking certain characteristics of human sexuality" and it makes it very easy to understand. A demisexual only feels the horny if they have a emotional bond, instead of feeling arousal towards pretty people in general.

These resources are important because these people can get frustrated with the "disconnection" I mentioned.

Not getting aroused unless you have a deep connection with someone isn't that weird

I wouldn't call it weird (queer communities don't consider themselves weird ofc and hate being called that). However it's a defining characteristic of a demisexual person that isn't found on most people.

and grey just sounds like low libido, which is also pretty normal

It could be. I'm not gonna deny some average joes are appropriating asexuality. But there's definitely actual asexuals who fit in the grey label.

it just seems unnecessary to give it a label and a flag unless the purpose behind it is to feel like part of the club.

Certain people agree with this take, asexuals included. Look up "Queer Heterosexuality".

However like I mentioned, I do think this exist. Wether it's a mental illness or a mental deficent on individuals or whatever, these resources are important to help them live their lifes. It's not like being a homosexual where you can have gay sex and gay marriage and that's a easy answer. People in the ace spectrum are extremely rare (I don't know how rare when compared to dysphoria) and the asexual awareness program has a forum that acts as a sort of "club" for people to give advice to each other. I find it a fair cause that most people could get behind.

[–]Dontcaretoday 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Thank you for the detailed explanation. I can see how wanting support because you feel a disconnect from mainstream culture is different than wanting an LGBT label because it's become trendy

[–]bucetao6969[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

I don't know if asexual people want support or understanding. Their main goal is awareness (the biggest asexual project as of the moment is the awareness program). Although "acephobia" exists it's nowhere near the same as homophobia so they don't keep screeching that.

The reason for their goal is like I said the culture around sex is very problematic for asexual people because it can make them very frustated around certain things. So they want people to know if they're asexual it's a real thing and for others to not do things such as shaming asexual men.

And again don't get me wrong, some could be doing it for trendyness.

[–]Dontcaretoday 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I still fully believe that many, if not most, are taking it up because they want to feel special. The link you posted was most definitely a kid looking for attention lol. I can acknowledge that others may have different motives though, even if I feel personally that most of the things you are describing are within the realm of normal human behavior, just not normal in a culture where sex is really overemphasized. No one should be pressured or made to feel embarrassed if they don't want sex or only want it under the right conditions for them, so trying to make it so that people aren't being given a hard time over it is a good thing.

[–]bucetao6969[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I'm gonna be honest. I think asexual "pride" is goofy compared to gay people. It's not like they need the pride thing because they aren't opressed. And like you said if someone feels they're pressured into having sex that's not acephobia that's rape culture.

I do understand some have "issues" when dealing with their parents though.

I think if someone wants to be "asexual" I wouldn't say that person wants to feel special, too much hassle. You could be skeptical of "gray" and "demi" I guess. But really it's not like asexual people are going around and doing shit that angers people so it doesn't matter. Let them "feel special" if that's all they do at the end of the day.

[–]Dontcaretoday 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I doubt that anyone claiming full asexuality is doing it to be trendy, just the in between labels that would give someone an opportunity to have their cake and eat it too, which you already said yourself gets picked up by people who probably aren't serious. I'm sure there are people calling themselves demi or whatever that do fit actually fit the description also, but as you said no one who isn't family or wanting a relationship with that person is likely to care at all, so if someone is going around waving whatever variation of pride flag and making a personality out of it I'm probably not going to take them seriously.

Yes, they're harmless enough that I could just let them feel special anyway and go about my day without comment, but if I was that kind of non-asshole I wouldn't hang out in Tumblr in Action lol.

[–]bucetao6969[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

said yourself gets picked up by people who probably aren't serious

Not all. Like I said some get confused. Asexuality is unfortunately confusing.

I met this girl that today she said she was demi. But she did feel horny on hot dudes who she didn't have a relationship with beforehand which would mean that she wasn't demi.

I think some of it is also because some people wanted to "fit" into something, like a community. People are desperate for it these days.

Yes, they're harmless enough that I could just let them feel special anyway and go about my day without comment, but if I was that kind of non-asshole I wouldn't hang out in Tumblr in Action lol.

If you meet a asexual who doesn't go around waving their cringe flags do give them a chance :)

[–]Dontcaretoday 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And by "they" in my other comment I only mean the ones being cringy online. All due respect to those just living their lives.