Would you date a transman?

submitted by Srime from (self.Lesbians)

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[–][deleted]  (19 children)

[deleted]

    [–]ughthisplace 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

    I don't think bitter is the right word. Most of the comments just sound turned off which is understandable because the question is about dating

    [–][deleted]  (11 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]ughthisplace 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

      I don't know what GC/radfem people say about homosexual trans people but I get that gender dysphoria is a real mental illness and I can sympathize. Just would never date a trans man. I think most people here feel the same

      [–][deleted]  (9 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]ughthisplace 19 insightful - 3 fun19 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

        lol... yeah "delusional" does sound pretty harsh. But it's also correct

        delusional is defined as: holding idiosyncratic beliefs or impressions that are contradicted by reality or rational argument, typically as a symptom of mental disorder.

        I would say that "delusional" only applies to people who think they are actually a different sex/ can change their sex.

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]ughthisplace 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          Most people on this sub are not part of GC/radfem groups. It's not just those groups who don't buy into the trans & gender ideology, it's majority of the world.

          honestly, I think most people don't care about what adults want to do to their own bodies. The original "T" in LGBT were just homosexual people who wanted to (or were forced to) present as the opposite sex. There was never any conflict with those people in the community. It's this new wave of trans ideology (lead by homophobic, heterosexual fetishists) that has turned so many against trans people entirely. I feel sorry for the homosexual ones who just want to live their lives and aren't trying to get everyone to disregard reality for them, but this is just the world right now.

          [–]piylot 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

          I agree with you. I think there's a commonplace view in some radfem/GC spaces that is ideologically sound in theory but doesn't actually provide any practical or compassionate solution as to how we consider and facilitate the people who do choose to take cross-sex hormones and pass as the opposite sex. The idea is they shouldn't, but can't ever rule out that for an individual it may be beneficial to their life to do so, and often doesn't offer any compassion if they do.

          Again, not relevant to the question re: dating. I wouldn't date a trans man as the male characteristics would be unattractive to me and also I wouldn't want my attraction to the female body to be stifled by a partner who didn't want their body to be regarded as female. Just thought I'd reply to note their are members here who are upvoting you, and even if most people here don't agree there are people along side them that you. We're not as much of a hivemind on here as it may look at first glances.

          [–]MannyMandrake 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          confession: I upvoted because I felt sorry... 😖

          I don't actually think there's a problem with the way GC/radfem groups view people with gender dysphoria. They see them the way you'd view a person with any other delusion. For example, people who think they are an animal or a different race, age, etc. They don't entertain the belief at all. And that's fair, since it's illogical.

          Their goal has always been abolishing sex roles, not sex. TRA and trans ideology is definitely a step backwards when it comes to accomplishing that. Whenever I see someone talking about why they transitioned, it's always "because I do this stereotype" or "because I like that stereotype" or they say "I feel like a woman/man" which is, of course, impossible as those are not feelings. What they mean is "I feel feminine/masculine" and the goal should be allowing men to be feminine and women to be masculine instead of pretending that they were born in the wrong body and enabling this mess.

          [–]MyLongestJourney 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

          But this is what they are. Delusional women. This does not mean I can not feel sorry for their plight.

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]MyLongestJourney 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

            This is the reality. It does not make me happy to say it,it makes me incredibly sad.But my feelings have no impact on reality. You can not change a female body into male and transform a woman into a man.Reality is independent of feelings.

            [–]QueenOfTheNorth 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

            I wonder why we don't give anorexics lipsucution and we don't tell schizophrenics their delusions are real and try to validate them, but we do change trans peoples bodies in dangerous ways due to dysphoria? As someone who has had BDD due to anorexia, it was crippling and awful. But just like no amount of weight loss could make me thin enough no amount of Hormones and surgery can make a trans person male enough, so the dysphoria never goes away while their body is harmed. You could say it lessens, but my BDD lessens at low weights too but that doesn't mean weight loss is a treatment for anorexia

            [–]just_lesbian_things 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

            He's fully aware that he will never be male and he knows that biologically speaking he's still a lesbian but for now living as a trans man is the only thing that alleviates his dysphoria.

            Yeah, that sounds like a problem for her mental health team. I'm done with people expecting me to front the cost of their mental issues. She's just not as deluded as other female trans people, and that's not exactly a high bar to cross. None of them care about being "nice" to women; I don't owe them anything. Unlike them, I'm not supporting sex stereotypes and hiding behind "mental health issues" to avoid criticism for my behavior, so you can say I'm already going above what they're offering. Yeah I am bitter. Who would've known that when you treat someone like shit, they wouldn't have the fondest opinion of you.

            [–]candiedDagon 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

            So you say your friend has no delusion over biological sex but somehow SHE is "living as a trans man" as opposed to just plain living as a woman. That's a distinction that can only be made if biological sex can be disregarded. This is not coherent. What is really going on here? Does your friend really think of herself as a woman or not? What separates the biological reality from whatever other trans man reality she claims to experience? There's no real sense here. Your friend is in a place where her beliefs are inconsistent. She's placing herself into an imaginary category to cope with her other problems. It is a still a form of delusion.

            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]candiedDagon 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              You’re missing the main point of my argument which that there is still delusion involved. Nothing about her experience as a woman impersonating a man is actually necessary for preventing suicide. Suicide is something one does to oneself, not something that is enforced by the perceptions of other people. Hence there is still delusion and covering the everything up with woke language doesn’t change that. Mental illness explains why a person might believe they can only prevent themself from killing themself by taking on a false identity, but purposefully taking on a false identity is dishonest and mental illness cannot justify dishonesty, only explain why a person is deluded to act in a such a way.

              [–]just_lesbian_things 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              But do you think that they experience the exact same stuff women experience when they pass as men?

              Do women all have the exact same experiences? I bet I have more common experiences with my brother than with you, but that doesn't make me a man. You don't become a woman through experience, it's the other way around. She's a woman so her experiences are the experiences of a woman.