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[–]reluctant_commenter 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm not sure I endorse the term "compulsory heterosexuality" but I'll take a stab at the main idea that you suggest:

I personally don't understand how people can believe they are having real crushes on men while also supposedly having repressed crushes on women, without the physical cues being a huge and dead give away.

^ The bolded part is the key. Three example scenarios where someone doesn't acknowledge their physical cues:

  • Being in a homophobic religion/family/region/whatever where homosexuality is shamed and threatened. Some people may just have a ton of cognitive dissonance, esp. if they are trying to keep themselves safe, and while lying to their acquaintances/family, end up partly convincing themselves.

  • Lack of body awareness due to trauma. Lesbians-- being both female, and homosexual-- are at higher risk for being sexually assaulted than the general population. (Gender nonconforming people are also at higher risk for sexual assault/abuse and lesbians are more likely to be GNC as well.) One potential result of undergoing such trauma is a mind-body disconnect. End result: inability to observe the physical cues of your own arousal.

  • Lack of body awareness due to a disorder, e.g. autism spectrum disorder. People with ASD are more likely to have a mind-body disconnect.

As for the term "comphet" itself... I'm mixed. Yes, there is a lot of pressure for women to not acknowledge their same-sex attraction, especially in certain areas of the world. But, that "comphet masterdoc" is full of bullshit. I've become a lot more cautious when I see the phrase "compulsory heterosexuality" thrown around (thanks, in part, to some very thoughtful comments on this sub a while ago!).

[–]QueenOfTheNorth[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, I can relate to having religious parents (catholic) and I can definitely see how I would have been more in denial if I didn't have some wonderful resources in my life that taught me it was okay. I'm lucky enough to live in a non-religious community so I've never been shut off from other points of view or had the fear of being hated by friends, acquaintances, neighbours, etc, so it was easier for me. I suppose I'm coming from a place of privilege as far as compulsive heterosexuality goes so I really appreciate these replies. Personally I was a very GNC child and had a pixie cut and did martial arts, so I was always called a lesbian even before I realised I am one, so it was easier to come to terms with because it was expected of me? I'm more femme now but it definitely played a part.

I did think I was bisexual but just a Kinsley 5 for ages though, up until recently, because I had been told by progressive friends that "everyone is a bit gay/straight because you haven't met everyone in the world and you don't know if you'll maybe be attracted to 1 man out a million." I've never been attracted to a man or thought I was but I couldn't deny that I guess hypothetically maybe it could someday happen, but at this point I've realised that's actually just a very homophobic argument which is trying to keep lesbians open to hypothetical dick after I joined s/LGBdroptheT and I realised how prevalent that attitude actually is. But I digress.

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it's awesome that you did not have to deal with this sort of pressure! I hope one day that that is the case for all lesbians growing up.

I did think I was bisexual but just a Kinsley 5 for ages though, up until recently, because I had been told by progressive friends that "everyone is a bit gay/straight because you haven't met everyone in the world and you don't know if you'll maybe be attracted to 1 man out a million." I've never been attracted to a man or thought I was but I couldn't deny that I guess hypothetically maybe it could someday happen

Same!! I also have been told this by multiple people, and as you said, it's homophobic, or best-case scenario it's just downright ridiculous.

Thanks for starting a thoughtful discussion. :)