I've never been a believer and the whole "SSA" thing doesn't help. But I quite liked being a cultural catholic. I enjoyed the whole community and going to church thing. I also like the idea that you are apart of something larger than yourself, and that you're part of a group where involvement is focused upon giving back to others— so much of our culture now is focused on ourselves or worshiping consumerism / wealth in this really individualistic way. There is something nice about doing a bible study too, especially if it's focused upon being positive and supporting of each other (rather than being toxic). I think they also have some really nice values around family, and looking after you family and community that resonate with me. That said, I think the culture around sexuality really put me into denial too and that messed with my head for a long time.

This is going to sound very dumb, but the thing that turned it around for me was seeing the book of mormon musical when it came to my city. They have that turn it off song, and it just sort of clicked how ridiculous their attitudes towards homosexuals were. The lyrics are dead accurate of how their logic works too, especially the bit where they rationalise basically shutting part of their lives off. The Catholic version was something like 1. It's ok to be gay but you can't act on it. 2. Don't think things or indulge in thoughts that would lead you to sin... so basically do your best not to have homosexual / homoromantic feelings or fantasies.... turn it off!!. I realized that I had been compartmentalising myself, that this was absurd, and so that started a process of opening up to myself.