Being a lesbian and religious (or not religious)

submitted by lovelyspearmint from self.Lesbians

I've never been super religious personally, although most of my family is (Orthodox Christian), but I've wondered how others deal with their faith or lack thereof when many religious texts/communities condemn lesbians for being born that way.

My personal belief is that if God didn't want lesbians to exist, then they simply wouldn't. We're all, after all, made in God's image.

How do you guys deal with these ideas and issues? Have any of converted since you've realised that you're lesbians or have any denounced your faith afterwards (which is perfectly understandable)?

all 8 comments
sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun

[–]bumblebitch 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I was raised Catholic and really loved the community feeling you get from being part of a church. Towards the end of high school it became difficult for me to be religious because I couldn't get it to make sense to me logically and I had started to recognize I was gay and didn't want to be part of a community that didn't support me for being myself. I have considered trying to join a different denomination of christianity that's more accepting of homosexuals since, but haven't figured out if it's actually something I want to do or not.

[–]lovelyspearmint[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's best to distance yourself from a community that thinks it knows you better than you do. It can be difficult if most of your family and friends are a part of that community though. I still haven't come out to most of my family because their religion is deeply ingrained in their culture and values, and many wouldn't accept my supposed 'choice' to be a lesbian. Apparently the Espiscopalian church is pretty relaxed/accepting when it comes to LGB individuals, so I'll looking into local Espiscopalian churches and see how I go.

[–]lmaonope333 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I grew up orthodox orthodox Jewish, I couldn't reconcile religion with my sexuality, so I left

[–]TarshishJupiter 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I believe that sin is simply anything that hurts others or yourself (any injustice, cruelty, disrespect, or dehumanization). And since I searched and searched but couldn't find any harms of homosexuality - in fact, it may help the species - I don't believe homosexuality is a sin. So I was able to reconcile my faith with being a lesbian. It also helped that I started going to a church with a gay pastor and many gay couples in the congregation.

[–]HelloMomo 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My personal belief is that if God didn't want lesbians to exist, then they simply wouldn't. We're all, after all, made in God's image.

That's what Anne Lister said, right?

[–]begonia_skies 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I often say there are many things I can forgive, and many people I have forgiven. However, I can't forgive Christianity for teaching me to hate myself when I was young, vulnerable, and impressionable. It's just not something I can personally reconcile and I'm much happier without religion in my life.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've never been a believer and the whole "SSA" thing doesn't help. But I quite liked being a cultural catholic. I enjoyed the whole community and going to church thing. I also like the idea that you are apart of something larger than yourself, and that you're part of a group where involvement is focused upon giving back to others— so much of our culture now is focused on ourselves or worshiping consumerism / wealth in this really individualistic way. There is something nice about doing a bible study too, especially if it's focused upon being positive and supporting of each other (rather than being toxic). I think they also have some really nice values around family, and looking after you family and community that resonate with me. That said, I think the culture around sexuality really put me into denial too and that messed with my head for a long time.

This is going to sound very dumb, but the thing that turned it around for me was seeing the book of mormon musical when it came to my city. They have that turn it off song, and it just sort of clicked how ridiculous their attitudes towards homosexuals were. The lyrics are dead accurate of how their logic works too, especially the bit where they rationalise basically shutting part of their lives off. The Catholic version was something like 1. It's ok to be gay but you can't act on it. 2. Don't think things or indulge in thoughts that would lead you to sin... so basically do your best not to have homosexual / homoromantic feelings or fantasies.... turn it off!!. I realized that I had been compartmentalising myself, that this was absurd, and so that started a process of opening up to myself.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]lovelyspearmint[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    Yeah, the feeling of guilt/shame is one of the worst parts of being both gay/bi/lesbian and religious (outside of being a victim of violence). You wonder whether what you're doing is wrong, and if so, why do you continue that path despite its (perceived) immorality?

    It's good that you can still celebrate religious activities without being religious yourself, though :)