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[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

You should get off of the threads that make you sick, right away. You should go to therapy to learn tools to help you divert the uncomfortable and traumatic thoughts.

And the dysphoria is a pretty normal part of being a lesbian. It’s probably caused by the guilt you feel about not living a heteronormative life, and the way people judge you, and how you judge yourself for being a lesbian. When you start to accept yourself more, and are able to break away from those difficult and painful thoughts, it will ease. I hope it does, anyhow, it did for me.

I didn’t have the types of fantasies you have, but honestly, you live in a much more disgusting and pornified world than the world I came out into in the 90s, and the community is full of creepy cosplayers and gender idiots. I can see how that would maybe cause some really dark, self-punishing, looping thoughts.

But you’re going to be okay. Do seek help so your gf is not the only support. Do it for her if you cant do it for yourself because it’s going to be hard on her to be the only support, no matter how deeply she loves you. You will be okay. Your thoughts are not you, remember that.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

i'm really looking into therapy now. i was worried that the therapists would lean woke so i'm hoping that i can find an older person. its a little expensive but hopefully ill be able to budget for it.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I would stay away from lgbt specific counsellors etc because they are likely all drinking the TRA koolaid

EDIT: i would look for a woman, also.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

ikr? thats what i mean, it blows. but i found one guy who seems like he could be a good choice.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I know a lot of LGBT therapists and they ARE, indeed, drinking the koolaid.

My therapist is a straight woman in her late 60s. She’s never tried to pull any “fluid” shit on me

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

she sounds cool. if its alright with you where do you live in case she's close to me too? i feel like sometimes straight people understand us better because they know what its like to only like one type of person.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

She’s actually leaving therapy soon and doing something else, waaaah

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

it really do be like that sometimes