Being a lesbian in this social climate makes me feel so alone.

submitted by sickofit from self.Lesbians

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[–]blabla99 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

don't really believe in this guy who says he has sex with lesbians (already one is hard to believe but two ...) there are many who lie to be able to sleep with you or to brag, hell you even men who claim to be lesbians, there are far too many men with the fantasy of converting a lesbian

[–]sickofit[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Don’t call them lesbians. They didn't sleep with a lesbian, they slept with a lying bi woman. There are a lot of those. sure some men are lying but a lot are not. If you dont believe it, you can even go onto any of the lesbian or bisexual subreddits and see the sheer number of bisexuals who call themselves lesbians. There are tons of them and they will happily explain how sure, they hooked up with three men last week, but they're totally "valid" as a lesbian. Some of them are even happily dating or married to men but will announce that they're lesbians at every opportunity. Most of them know that they're bisexual but choose to not say that and will get mad if you say there's something wrong with that. At some point these women need to be held accountable and not just handwaved away each time.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Guys who talk about sleeping with lesbians are ridiculous. If she's willingly sleeping with you, how is she a lesbian? mental gymnastics... they just don't think. They enjoy idea of sleeping with a lesbian so much that they push all logic to the back of their minds (or they never had any to begin with).

And yeah, I detest the lying bi women even more than the lying men. Men think that they can convert us, but the lying bi women are the one's who "confirm" it. Also, the fact that these women want to use their fake lesbianism to turn on men/ fulfill men's porn fantasies is just so blasphemous to me! They are disgusting.

[–]sickofit[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

LOL tell me about it. It’s really frustrating because you see it all the time.

On the other hand... these are straight people. They are not familiar with lgbtlaksdjf identity politics and what goes on in the community. The vast majority of straight people are not going to question what a "lesbian" says lesbians are like. Similarly, if some "gay man" says that its normal for gay men to like fucking women in the butt too, most straight people are going to listen. Because this person is claiming to be a representative of that group. Thd "queer theory" explanations are very confusing even for people who are in the community, and they're constantly changing. Most straight people do not have the tools or the gall to question a self-proclaimed gay person on what being gay is about. Most people dont assume the people they hang out with are liars.

I agree with you on the bi women but i think we need to reframe the conversation a bit. Men are not the only people who dont believe that lesbians exist. Women believe the exact same thing just as often as the men do, the only difference is that they are less likely to try to prey on that (though they do that sometimes too). These women are just a subset of homophobic women. They dont just enable the "lesbians dont exist" group, they are part of that group too. If they weren't, they wouldn't think that women who like men (like themselves) are lesbians or that lesbians are "fluid".