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[–]yayblueberries 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It almost sounds like she's in a vicious cycle of things being shitty, sounds like health issues making it even harder to lose weight than an average woman (which could have made her feel like giving up along with other stuff), having had a terrible recent job, and job loss, the world imploding in general, already gaining weight which likely made her lose some confidence in herself...I don't think the problem is going to be fixed until some of those things that can be fixed, start getting fixed. And with some women the weight just doesn't fall off at first when we start working out again, it takes a while, which would probably explain your libido also not coming back yet.

She's going to have to keep going with the working out no matter how awful she feels. I wish I had the answer for the other things, but it's mostly treading water now. The easiest fix out of the other stuff would be to find another job, and even that is impossible right now.

I think working on feeling less to no guilt over not feeling attracted to her right now might help you overall. There is nothing wrong with that and it might be super temporary. I think every relationship has dips where both partners just don't feel into it sometimes for various reasons. This is also a really stressful time for almost everyone which I'm sure is not helping. I don't know if maybe just even taking a short break from sex and just being with each other and present with each other and doing other relaxing things together might help for now, could it be you're also just both exhausted from things being tough?

[–]HighPlainsDrifter[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is really helpful. I think with everything happening it has been easy to say "this is a huge issue that is never going away and what the fuck should I do everything is awful" but it is probably good to get a reality check. She did just get a new job, and her mental health is much better. She's been doing small runs each week so I can see she is starting to work back into dedication to weight lose. Maybe giving it more time to see what happens is good. Because you're right there are going to be dips and if this is the worst dip in 6 years it's not actually that bad or that big.