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[–]Icebridge 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Mixed feelings about this post. I'd be okay with it if it weren't a hypothetical but since it is it just feels so... dumb and pointless? Who cares what you do in the hypothetical case that you divorce your husband? It also seems very naieve in the sense that it gives off the vibe of "gay relationdhips are always great and easy to find!" Which is... no. That being said I'm also surprised everyone is universally against this post? As a radfem I feel like its obvious the way men treat women is way worse than the way women treat women. Most male violence is from someone the woman knows and often is a partner. When I go on dates, as long as I've verified that they're a woman and not a catfish, I dont have to worry about getting stalked or killed like I would if I were dating men. Even with assault, statistically it's so low I don’t really stress out about it with women like I do when I'm alone with a man i dont know well for example. I definitely dont think "straight women have it harder than us" or even that that's what the post is getting at. But that when you're dating women the fear and opression usually comes from outside the relationship but with heterosexual relationships it comes from the inside. If someone wants to avoid that, I can't blame them. When i try to put myself in a bi persons shoes, its hard to decide if i would be able to date men based on the bad experiences ive had with them, the trauma those close to me have suffered, and just knowing what i know. I think op is naieve but i dont think she has any ill will based on what i read. It's not like she came at lesbians with this post anyway, from what i understand fds is a het focused sub?

[–]TalerTest 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm also surprised everyone is universally against this post?

I think everyone is against the comments as well as the post. This whole thing can be translated to: 'I'm really obsessed with men but so many of them suck that I'm actually considering (gasp!) dating a woman. And of course, I'll still keep looking over my shoulder for Prince Charming while doing so.'

It's all about men for them. I don't think they even love women, they just hate men.

[–]Icebridge 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thats not the vibe i got from it, but i didnt spend a ton of time reading the comments. With straight women i definitely understand the frustration, but with bi women, they're actually attracted to women so if theyre willing to fully commit to dating women exclusively I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. That being said, op's post is a hypothetical so i suppose its fair to be more critical of her.

[–][deleted] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I guess I don't feel like its my job to solve or care about straight or bisexual women's frustration with men in their dating life, especially if I don't feel like some of the commenters extend the same grace to lesbians and our issues. I also agree that the hypothetical nature of op's post makes this whole conversation even more absurd since she is married with a husband and a kid lol.