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[–]yayblueberries 42 insightful - 2 fun42 insightful - 1 fun43 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

I think it's rude as shit that she ignored your totally acceptable question that really does need to be answered by her. Her refusal makes it seem like she knew this from the beginning and covered it up and pretended to be hurt by random people thinking she is trans and asking for her pronouns.

And the whole she "appreciates" your "openness to growth" is manipulative bullshit too. Because it implies you were potentially closed minded and is expecting you to ignore your own preferences (such as finding a badass woman hot). And also it is a thinking that dating somebody non-binary is some sort of positive growth pattern lesbians need to have. Fuck that.

Also, talking you into apologizing for invalidating her before?! You had no idea she was non-binary, and she was playing it like she wasn't! You had nothing to apologize for. That's nasty of her to do to you.

From what I'm reading it just sounds like you were bamboozled by a very disrespectful person. It's up to you what to do about it but I'd dump this person even though it is painful to go through breakups. You deserve way better than a game this big. If she was so worried it would change things she should have been honest from the start.

[–][deleted] 18 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Lol. So manipulative right!? Anyone who throws “you’re invalidating me” into a conversation is not a good partner.

Clearly her self-hating gf is looking at her as the enemy of “their” happiness because these people (other self-hating lesbians and trans people on whichever “am I trans?” Reddit sub has she’s been validating her delusion with for a full week, if not more) have been trained to see lesbians (even themselves) as bad.

I am sure if OP looks she will find a throwaway on reddit somewhere describing how “terfy” their gf is and asking for support for their non-binary nonsense.

[–][deleted] 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Im hurt by this. Idk why it feels like a betrayal.. I can't believe her response after I apologised as well? like what? and also suddenly coming out as NB now after a year of not even bringing up questioning her gender ID to me? her friends are all NB or femme and I feel like they influenced her too.

[–]verystablegenius 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

wow.....this is really sad. this was definitely influenced by her friends and societal pressure. simply put, i would break up with her. i’m sorry my friend.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They did.