I feel depressed about all this and how isolating it feels to be woke about the misogyny and gas lighting of the trans movement

submitted by mangosplums from (self.Lesbians)

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[–]RedditHatesLesbians 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

I completely relate. I'm 16 and lesbians don't even seem to exist anymore in my age group, it's so isolating. The LGBT club at my school has FIVE transmen, some bisexuals and a few nonbinary people. Lesbians seem to be an endangered species. Those trans boys just seem like butch lesbians to me but they've been so heavily indoctrinated into the TRA ideology and it's sad. Reddit was the only place I felt sane. I can't share my views with any of my friends because I would be ostracised. I just had to get this off my chest.

[–]southpaw 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Five transmen?! That’s crazy. If you don’t mind me asking, how do your peers treat you in relation to the transmen? Are they considered “one of the guys” or are they treated more like women? Are any of the non-binary women more on the butch side? How are they treated?

Sorry for the questions, I’m just genuinely curious. I’m much older than you. I’m more of a butch lesbian. I can’t imagine my high school having a LGBT club. I was bullied for wearing more masculine clothes and I can still remember some of the homophobic things my teachers would say (like gays burn in hell, the US should consider throwing homos off buildings, HIV is what happens when you are gay, etc.)

[–][deleted] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I am older, too. When I came out, there were drag queens. They identified as gay men. Trans wasn’t even a concept that took hold until the mid-1990’s. Once gender studies replaced women’s studies, it took root in colleges and universities. It really poisoned the well for lesbians.

Before that, there was a large and wonderful lesbian community. We only dealt with homophobia from heterosexual people. We had nightclubs, bars, bookstores galore, support groups, social groups, Mich Fest, West Coast Women’s music festivals, etc. We cared for our gay brothers during the AIDS crisis in the 1980’s. It was a community.

I watched the daughter of a family friend come out as a butch lesbian at age 13. Her family was wonderful. She went to high school in a liberal area and they accepted her and she had a girlfriend throughout HS.

Then she went to university. Within a year, she identified as trans. She did not want to be identified as a lesbian any longer. Last year she started testosterone.

Social media reinforces the narrative that lesbians are transphobic. I feel for young lesbians today. I honestly do.

I despair at the loss of our community.

[–]RedditHatesLesbians 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm really jealous. I would love to have a gay bookstore. Woman's only spaces where men have no footing sound like a dream. I don't feel like I have a community at all. There's nowhere I can turn to be around just women let alone just lesbians.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Edit: Young sister, RedditHatesLesbians, it is dark right now. I agree. No sugarcoating that. On the other hand, there have always been lesbians throughout millennia.

Sappho was alive around 500BC. WE are not going to go anywhere. It may be difficult for us to find each other at this point in time, but you found Saidit and other lesbians will, too.

Never lose hope. I am telling myself this, too.

[–]southpaw 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That breaks my heart! I get so mad when I read de-trans stories and the women were either butch lesbians or just plain old tomboys.

God, I miss gay bookstores. It was nice to have a casual chat with a stranger and get recommendations.

[–]RedditHatesLesbians 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

They tend to be social recluses - they all hang out with either girls with extremely bad fashion choices or boys who are presumed gay, in small groups. Two of them just hang out with each other. They're definitely not treated as the boys, they're either ignored or tiptoed around from what I've seen. People do talk crap behind their backs though. Our school has a zero tolerance policy for bullying, particularly based on being LGBT, and it's pretty effective for once. Oddly enough the masculine leaning women who identify as non binary outright are left alone but while I'm quite butch myself I get name called for being a butch lesbian and not non binary if that makes sense. People say I look like a man and other stuff.

[–]southpaw 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It is really shitty that you get flack for being butch. Just know that you will be appreciated one day. Some ladies really really love butches ;) I feel like the younger you are when you become comfortable in your own skin the easier adulthood is in some ways. I know so many adults who are so hungry for an identity that they latch onto whatever they can, without ever knowing who they truly are. For instance women who are married with kids and all they talk about is their spouse and children. When you ask them about themselves, it is pretty shallow what comes out. Stay strong.

Edit: I'm not shitting on motherhood or straight women. I just used it as an example.