I’m over 40. I’ve had men all horned up to get fucked, then 180 practically vomit in my face bc of their own anti-trans feelings. Heck I’ve ever fucked men who’ve immediately decided trans is gross seconds after they nutted. Like tf??? Over & over & over again through the decades.

Horny men who would fuck anything and realized how gross the situation was once post nut clarity hit. Maybe you should take the hint, you butchered your own body.

To me it’s like when a man says Black guys are gross.

Yeah...totally the same thing. Being black is just like the mess you did to your body.

Here’s what works for me: I use daily mantras/prayers/vibes/meditations/cheers/affirmations. And I ensure my inner circle are all very very celebratory of Blackness and transness and gayness. Works like a comfy cloud that keeps the sharp spikes away. Surround yourself with genuine love and unabashed pride.

So you delude yourself repeating the same lies over and over. Brainwashing yourself. You also look for echo chambers (gender cult members) to reinforce your delusions.

Allow yourself to enjoy fantasizing about your classmate. It’s harmless. And it’ll fade. Give yourself permission to experience the thing that equalizes all human beings: the unrequited crush.

Wallow in your fujoshi delusions, it's so healthy and natural. Im sure it will fade, you won't become a 40 year old as pathetic as myself.