DiscussionWhy are people so obsessed with gender?

submitted by Lovebirds_fury from (self.LGBDropTheT)

Gender is literally everywhere. From the moment you are born, your family teaches you what is the appropriate behaviour for your gender based on what they learned from their parents and grandparents. Later, this becomes a problem when you come out as gay, destroying the relationship you had with them.

Then, you explore the world and you discover that gender is in politics, religion, entertainment, relationships...People become hateful beasts for gender. They kill gay people to enforce gender. Some of them also feel entitled to kill and rape women because they are the weak gender and they are supposed to serve men.

Finally, you try to find a refuge to escape this madness and to your dissapointment you discover that lgbt organizations are also full of gender bullshit. The trans religion is front and center, announcing that gay people have easy lives and they owe everything to their trans overlords. Even in the gay community you have people so obsessed with gender that they try to assign gender roles to tops and bottoms, replicating heterosexual relationships. The "who is the woman in the relationship" question is not homophobic anymore.

It's this a human problem? It's gender so important for humanity that we must preserve it no matter how much pain, injustices and violence it causes?

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[–]JulienMayfair 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

As a former teacher, I offer this observation: People like freedom, but only to a certain point. People also, generally speaking, want to fit in. They like to be told what's expected of them and to be rewarded for delivering it.

For years, we tried to attack gender roles, but then, seemingly almost overnight, they came back with a vengeance. I can't help but think that it's because conforming to an established gender role gives some sense of stability to people who are looking for some kind of stable reference point for their identity. And I think part of that has to do with the declining role of traditional religion. Gender has become a kind of neo-religion. Compare it to people becoming "born again."

[–]jacques1102 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm part of a discord community for this T.V show i got back into a year ago with around 80k members.It has a sizable teenager fanbase on here and i've yet to see one that wasn't obsessed with gender.It's literally gotten to the point where you can't say with a straight face that this isn't a social contagion.Otherwise why is it only gender special teens that are obsessed with this show, especially when the show in question hasn't really been that kind to them?

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

These kids want to belong.

They see queer groups as a kind of a social tribe, akin to the goths and emos of the 90s and 00s.

For most of them, being a gender special will be nothing more than a phase which they'll eventually move on from.

The problem here are the extreme cases: in the same way many people who jumped in the "drugs are cool" bandwagon of the 80s ended up frying their brains and ruining their lives beyond repair, there will be the ones who will do the same in regards to the "gender craze" of today.

Let's just hope there won't be many who decide to walk this path.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Gender feels like the new God in a way. I find it crazy how important it is for some people. I never understood it. Gender or more like sex is only relevant when it comes to biological and cultural differences.

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

cultural differences.

This is kind of a big deal, as many societies are organized based on gender and gender roles, western ones included.

The thing is: in many of these societies, gender isn't treated as a mere accessory or part of the personal identity of anyone, but just a product of biology and social standards.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Just a question, does being same sex attracted mean that we too are gender non conforming? Just for the attraction? I'm not sure I agree with that...

[–]Lovebirds_fury[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

We can't fit the gender mold. You could be the embodiment of masculinity, being the perfect example of what people consider a "real man" really is and it wouldn't be enough to fulfill their expectations. As long as you are same sex attracted you will provoke a negative reaction in many people.

I consider myself "straight passing" as they call it and I never felt comfortable with the roles i was supposed to perform. Many of their rules for men describe the relationships you need to have with women and I was completely uninterested in all that. Past a certain age people look at you weird, and I constantly heard family friends gossiping about single men and calling them gay because they decided to stay single.

[–]RedJackalRampant homosexual 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think so, yes. Actively having same-sex relations is gender non-conforming.

[–]GrouchyHierophantLuGuBrious not Tenebrous 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, gender includes who you should be attracted to. This is why homosexual people struggle with gender a lot more than straights usually do. Because being gay means you're not fulfilling the gender stereotype.

[–]GrouchyHierophantLuGuBrious not Tenebrous 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I wish there were groups against gender: not just transgenderism, but all gender ideologies. I absolutely hate gender and I refuse to define myself or my sexual orientation by gender, no matter how much they say I'm supposed to. I will never give into it until I die. But I feel like I am a dying breed.