If you look more carefully still, isn’t homophobia just another form of misogyny? Isn’t it about men not manifesting as masculine enough, painted and colorful, making themselves sexy, being pleasured dorsally, breaking sacred vows about masculine social barriers, communication choices. Isn’t it about women diverging from their lane as the kitten, the weaker sex or the homemaker?

Since the "homophobia = transphobia" thing might not stick, he decides to throw in "homophobia = misogyny" too. This is the same as above, where, yes, maybe that's part of it, but it's certainly not that simple. There are plenty of straight, masculine women and straight, feminine men, and likewise, there are plenty of straight men that love masculine women and plenty of straight women that love feminine men. It's almost like everyone on the planet has a different personality and likes different things, and their sexuality really has nothing to do with that.

The only sexuality has to do with it is that, like in my crochet example above, gay people may not feel any particular social pressure to conform to gender expectations. If I was a straight man, I might be ashamed to crochet, because it would be "girly," and there's social pressure on me to not be girly. Being gay, I can kind of bypass concerns about being thought of as girly, because people will probably expect me to be a little girly anyway. This is a problem with social stereotypes and not allowing people (even straight people) to do what makes them happy.

Unfortunately, changing social expectations takes a long time. Lest we forget, it was only fairly recently in the grand scheme of things that it was considered socially acceptable for a man to care about his appearance and take care of his skin. It's not something that can be rushed.

Politically, LGB without the T is divisive, but personally, it’s foolish internalized homophobia in some new camo, and either way, it’s damaging to all queer people.

It is divisive. I don't think it should be; it should be obvious that, politically, the two groups need to stand separately. I take issue with someone saying I have internalized homophobia because I think that, politically, the two groups have different needs and different issues that need to be dealt with separately.

I'll also say that I don't particularly care if something is damaging to "queer" people, because I have no frame of reference for who those people might be. I certainly don't consider myself "queer." The word itself has degenerated to the point of having basically no definition. I also don't see how disavowing the T can be at all harmful to LGB people, if that's what he's attempting to say. If anything, given the social climate surrounding the T, it is probably more harmful to LGB people to be lumped in with the T and other "queer" people.

There is no LGB without T. Thinking about those families has left me wondering what it’s going to be like for the progressive parents of 2050. What are the queer kids of today going to be confronted with when their offspring come out? What will leave them speechless and unprepared (I’m thinking it involves implants and enhancements; I’m eager to see where my predictions go.)

Yes, teens will always rebel against their parents and teens will always glom on to the newest coolest thing. This goes without saying. My prediction is going to be that in 2050, kids are going to start coming out to their blue-haired "queer" mom and dad by saying, "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I'm actually straight, not trans, and I'm interested in waiting until I'm married to have sex." I guess we'll see.

As the trans movement is evolving, it is growing past the epithets of “born this way” and “it’s not a choice”. I always resented the political expedient that homosexuality is “not a choice.” It’s my choice, who cares? I never wanted to be restricted by that and I don’t want anyone else to be either.

Absolutely disgusting. If being gay was a choice, then, yes, who cares? But it's not, and this man is a horrible human being for implying that it is. The reason that we are all insistent that it's not a choice is because that helps people understand that a woman that says she's a lesbian doesn't just need a good dicking. By saying, "Yeah, it's my choice to be gay, who cares?" you are telling homophobes that they were right and giving further ammo to people that want to force gay people to be straight.

If anything is harmful to the LGB community, it's that kind of rhetoric. Of course, he doesn't think that way, because he's part of the "queer" community, and is following the party line that one can just choose to be whatever they want to be, regardless of the physical reality of their being.

The trans movement has needed to adopt this same position to receive validity, but a new generation of young nonbinary/gender-fluid people are leading us away from that. In that, transgender is now a phenomenal umbrella community and a huge opportunity for all of us to be part of. I don’t have to choose who I am, I can choose who I want to be. I love that. We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it.

You can choose who you want to be, sure. I believe that "being trans" is a choice. Having gender dysphoria, however, is more similar to being gay in that it is not a choice. Would the author ever decide that he "chooses" to be straight? I imagine that he'd be in for a life of misery if he "chose" that.

You can choose who you want to be in the sense that you can be a good person, a mean person, a funny person, a caring person, etc. You can change your life and your attitudes and can change "who you are" in that sense. You can't just "be a woman" because you said so. There is no path from "being a man" to "being a woman" that can be followed in the same sense that you can follow a path from "being a miserable asshole" to "being a kind and compassionate person." People can, and do, change throughout their lifetimes.

People do not, however, change immutable things about themselves. In fact, they cannot, because those things are immutable. I can never be black no matter how hard I try to wish myself into it. I can never be straight no matter how hard I try to wish myself into it. You see where I'm going.

Just because there are a bunch of idiot teens and twenty-somethings that are trying desperately to continue their childhood narrative of "you are the most special person in the whole world," that doesn't mean that they are right, and I would venture a guess that, once they have more life experience, most will actually understand how wrong and how harmful they actually were.

So for all those non-queer straight-acting gays out there, you’re undermining yourselves, because we’re all one people and we need to stick together.

Oh, okay, so you're speaking directly to me, it seems, since I'm not queer and I mostly "act straight." Glad to know that I'm undermining myself just by living my life. That's certainly news to me. And again, gay people are not a monolith and are allowed to have different opinions on things. Consider the fact that, although I think that what this man has to say is idiotic, counter-productive, and holier-than-thou, I'm okay with him having written this article and, while I don't agree with his opinions, I'm okay with him having those opinions.

This particular article pulled nearly every guilt-trippy trick out of the hat in order to justify why the existence of the LGB Alliance makes him feel bad. The author is manipulative, disingenuous, and highly egotistical, and yet he seems to think that he's a good person. I'll refrain from making that judgment call because I don't know him personally, but I will say that I hope that he doesn't treat his patients with the same attitude that he displays in this article.

What this whole thing boils down to is that this man, like many "queer" people, has some sort of rigidly defined roles in his mind that the vast majority of everyday society doesn't really care about, and he's basing his entire worldview on those. "You can't be a gay man without being feminine," "Being trans is inextricably linked with being gay because they are both entirely about bucking gender norms," etc. etc. It's an incredibly narrow worldview disguising itself as an open worldview, and it's quite insidious how that all works. I believe that he genuinely believes these things he's saying, and that's what the scariest part is.

This sort of rhetoric ultimately undermines everything that gay people fought for over the past few decades, and it's sickening to me to see this attitude reach any sort of prevalence. Thankfully, it seems to be mostly confined to the online space, but I fear that it won't be long until I find myself being chastised in person because I don't walk around with a limp wrist. It's scary how quickly we went from "gender roles suck, do what you want" to "gender roles suck, except actually they are the most important thing and must be adhered to at all costs."