Gay MenThe horrors of dating a genderist.

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[–][deleted] 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I can't imagine wanting to stay in a relationship with someone who was so controlling they wanted to dictate my sexual orientation and how I talk about it.

That man needs to run out of that relationship, fast. Even if the boyfriend decides not to go full TRA, he's already showing a massive red flag of being controlling.

[–]artetolife[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's tough to know your worth at that age even without all the propaganda telling you to put genderfeelz above your own needs.

[–]NeedMoreCoffee~=[,,_,,]=^_^= 14 insightful - 8 fun14 insightful - 7 fun15 insightful - 8 fun -  (1 child)

Jesus christ these people are exhausting. I need a nap just from reading that thread.

Also i looked at that nonbinary sub... why does EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM look like they are in that awkward teenager phase with horrible hairdo's, awful make up skills and weird colours, clothes that look like they are on a budget and made weird combos that they think look cool but really just look stupid or trashy. Even if they are 40 fucking years old.

Your name is not Mars, it's Janet. You are not dressed "non binary" you're a dude in a skirt or a girl in pants. You could not be more binary if you tried. Your make up looks like you used crayons.

[–]julesburm1891 9 insightful - 6 fun9 insightful - 5 fun10 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I scrolled far enough to see JNCOs, choked on my wine laughing, and decides I’d seen enough.

I really do enjoy how every single one of those people thinks they’re so special and “non-gendered,” but you can immediately tell if it’s a man or woman with half a glance.

[–]GenderSpecial 14 insightful - 5 fun14 insightful - 4 fun15 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

Love this comment. A woman starts telling her husband that now he’s gay and he refuses to play along:

I (masc NB) am in a marriage with a man who self identifies as heterosexual. When I came out he had a bit of a crisis because he doesn't feel like he can be in a gay relationship. I on my part felt a bit uneasy in him still considering our relationship straight. The way we resolved it (still working on it, but we are more settled) is realising that after all is said labels are just approximations. He can consider himself straight as a generalization and still enjoy our relationship that we custom built in years together. And I can still consider myself in a gay relationship and enjoy the unique queerness of it regardless of the way he identifies. Sure this is coming from 23 years of learning to give space to each other and finding each other midway. I hope you will be able to talk things through, it is a good test to know if the relationship is based on good premises. Good luck

[–]hufflepuff-poet 17 insightful - 7 fun17 insightful - 6 fun18 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

23 years of heteromarriage and all of a sudden she wants to be "queer"!? 🤡

[–]TransspeciesUnicornI sexually identify as a mythical sparkly equine 13 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Lol, lady your husband is most likely just trying to appease you as much as he can for now, hoping you'll eventually outgrow this phase and go back to being a woman. Probably doesn't want to throw away 23 years of marriage over this (probably?) midlife crisis you're having.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Their comments are always so close yet so far from reality at the same time. When your ideology isn't internally consistent you need to just detach from any form of consistency.

He then told me that if he turned out to be NB, I wouldn't be gay anymore...

He doesn't get to decide that. If you choose to still identify as gay, while dating someone who is not a man, that's your decision.

[–]artetolife[S] 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, they all know the truth of SEXual attraction but they can't acknowledge it so you get all this ridiculous dancing around the facts

[–]Femaleisnthateful 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Note that gay is a choice now.

[–]TarshishJupiterpolitically homeless 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Reminds me of my ex, for the last few months when she was questioning her gender. How could she expect me to "change" my orientation just to be with her?

[–]Femaleisnthateful 6 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Is anyone not queer anymore?

[–]dilsencySame-sex community 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Label-people are so exhausting.

Why aren't you allowed to just say that you are attracted to people of the male sex? There would be no need for this flip-flopping of labels then.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

He then told me that if he turned out to be NB, I wouldn't be gay anymore but more of a bi guy (for context I identify as a gay man). I felt really uncomfortable because his gender identity would modify my sexual orientation that I worked so hard on.

Not even going into how semantically illogical it is for Bi's to like nonBInaries again, but this reasoning is in the same realm as trans who "change" their partner's orientation. If anyone really thought it through they would realize that theoretically you could change someone's (mono) orientation an infinite number of times over a course of second and they're socially obligated to acknowledge it every single instance to validate the other persxns temporary gender identity. Ain't nobody got time for that.