I still think you are making a presumption they are self hating when I don't really see that often especially when you apply that exclusively to women (honestly quite a few AGPs are self hating). Even for those that do it's more just frustrations with naturally occurring things like wishing they didn't have to get periods even still that isn't the primary reason for wanting to live out the fantasy. People don't fit neatly into a box and in my experience in those communities a vast majority just want to act out fantasies they have in their head which isn't much different than many AGP communities. Even for AGP it isn't a neat box either for why people get into said things. It's not all down to devaluing women.

If even misogyny didn't exist in the world these women would still be obsessed with it as long as their imagination and sexual desire existed. If anything a good portion of the shame they actually feel is being the fujo girl and feeling they are fetishizing gay men which is why you have so many FTM that actually get pretty self righteous about "straight women" being into gay male fantasies or creating yaoi.