would have to disagree even with those "minor" lies. For a period of my life when I was young I was showered with compliments, being told I was special, intelligent, "gifted", "tall for my age", and good at what I did. But that soon faded, I stopped being the favorite, and I found out the hard way that it was never true anyway. It was a pretty bad experience that fucked up my self esteem permanently.

Were they showering you with all these compliments due to concern for YOUR feelings, though? Because they wanted to make you feel confident, optimistic, good about yourself? Doesn't strike me that way. Sounds more like it was about THEIR feelings. That it served THEM to believe that their "favorite" was the Deluxe Model of Reptilian. Until they had those feelings about a different child who became the new "favorite". Was it just finding out that you'd been falsely praised which made this a bad experience? Or could their abandoning you in favor of someone else have had something to do with it?

Also, do you think that adults being honest with children is always the best policy? My family certainly never lied to spare my feelings; they let me know, on a regular basis, that they didn't love me, felt I was a lost cause, and hoped to be rid of me soon. It sure didn't seem to do me much good, either at the time or in the long run. I mean, sure, this doesn't exactly qualify as imparting unpleasant truths "in a gentle way"... but what if they had? What if they'd told me these things while smiling kindly, in a soft, tender tone of voice? Because it was the "truth", to them; that's really how they felt. They weren't lying. Rather, to hold their tongue, to pretend they loved me and wanted good things for me-- THAT would have been the lie. So they did the right thing, I guess?