What do you think about "kinkshaming?"

submitted by threefingersam from (self.GenderCritical)

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[–]Ossidiana 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

Well, I'm into BDSM and rape-y roleplay scenarios. Are you going to kink shame me?

In my experience, being open about your kinks is a twofold matter. If you're open about your kinks, you are one of two categories of people:

1) a person who's healthily confident in their sexuality, and is creative;

2) a person who doesn't know social boundaries, overshares, and is a creep.

People who have kinks and don't hide them are either sexually healthy, quirky people, or weirdos. It all depends on wether you're simply open about those, or..... if you impose them on others to the point it's just gross (aka what certain TRAs do).

[–]Catbug 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Yeah, yeah I’d shame that. First for the rape bit and second for the openness about it. Nobody should be so open about what gets them off that casual acquaintances are aware.

[–]Ossidiana 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Allow me to disagree. One thing is to suddenly tell your fetishes to everyone (like, what the heck?). Another thing is that, if we're talking about fetishes like in this very case..... there's nothing wrong about being open about it. Also, I was kinda waiting for someone to be outraged for the rape bit. Are you also outraged when kids play GTA or shoot each other in COD?

[–]Catbug 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

No because playing a video game isn’t deliberately sexualising something traumatic and generally only appealing to rapists like raping is. What a silly comparison.

You honestly sounded surprised that someone is happy to kinkshame you over a rape fetish in a feminist space and I cannot comprehend that being even slightly surprising to anyone.

Imo if you’re gonna say you get off on rape, expect to be shamed. Doesn’t matter if it’s a conversation about kinks or not. It’s a shameful thing to find sexy and it’s perfectly acceptable to say so.

Remember earlier comments about needing a thick skin if you wanna chat about having kinks? Plenty of us don’t think that rape is cute, sexy, and creative lol.

[–]Ossidiana 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

I'm not surprised at all: otherwise, why would I have said in another comment that I was waiting for someone to be outraged? Sexual roleplay is no different from playing a videogame. In both cases, it's only a make-believe scenario. If you're outraged that someone has a BDSM rape fetish, you should be outraged that millions of people play videogames where you kill other human beings.

So, I understand you not finding rape scenarios sexy. But some of us do, and they're not any different from people whe enjoy gorey horror films. It's an escapist fantasy. The REAL problem is only when people don't distinguish fiction from reality. I would hate real rape just the same way I'd hate real violence, not the one I see in Mortal Kombat.

[–]Catbug 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

You seem really bothered that I’m shaming your kink despite you literally asking for it to be shamed.

But okay, normalising rape via pretending getting raped is a perfectly normal and healthy fantasy and creative people being creative and disliking it is pearl clutching outrage. Whatever you need. Maybe though, don’t publish your fetishes if you’re upset someone finds them grubby.

[–]Ossidiana 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Uh, why do you insist so much that you want me to be bothered by the fact you're shaming my kink? I just said I'm not and I understand you? I feel like you're not really paying attention but just monologuing. By all means, keep being offended by my fetish, as long you don't want to stop me from enjoying it I will respect your right to talk against it.

[–]Catbug 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Why do you keep insisting I am outraged? You asked if anyone would kink shame you, and I do. If you were as unbothered as you’re insisting you wouldn’t have started insisting in the first place.

[–]Ossidiana 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Good point, I guess I won't insist. We both shared our views and that's ok. :)