Elite Manhattan school bids to be wokest of them all

Until now, Manhattan’s Dalton School was best known as ‘that $54k-per-year school Bill Barr’s dad hired Jeffrey Epstein to teach math at’.

But 2020 is a year of new beginnings. Now, the educators at Dalton have decided they want to be known for more for harboring shadowy ultra-rich ephebophiles. Move over, Evergreen College. Stand down, Oberlin. Dalton wants to be the wokest educational center this side of an amphetamine factory.

For all of 2020, Dalton has been flawless in its deference to liberal pieties. In March, the school shut down due to coronavirus. But when less morally rigid schools reopened in the fall, Dalton refused to budge (Naturally, no discounts and no refunds were offered on its $54,000 in annual tuition. Religious purity ain’t cheap). After George Floyd’s martyrdom, the school launched a 31-part racial justice plan.

But now, like Job, Dalton’s dedication to the triune god of Diversity, Inclusion, and Equity is being tested.

Under siege from parents with the arrogant thought that their $54,000 should buy more than some Zoom calls, Dalton recently announced a plan to reopen. But that has sparked an uprising from a cabal of teachers who have grown quite happy drawing their salaries without any monstrous children around.

So now, the revolution has come. More than a hundred Dalton faculty have issued a very, very long list of demands that they want the school to meet before they agree to return for in-person lessons.

Their list of demands is too long for me to post, even as a separate comment.