Who shall be my valentine?

submitted by Gravi from (self.AskSaidIt)

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[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (14 children)

She's a nice girl and she's not going to be influenced by some hooligan with a monster penis.

I am a hooligan with a monster penis, and I am very influential with the ladies

[–][deleted]  (13 children)

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    [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

    Its the other way around, Satan actually worships me. Satan is a Phooeyist

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

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      [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

      I would smack Jesus in the face with my monster hooligan penis, and he would turn the other cheek

      [–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

      And you are confused again, I would never swear my life to anyone but ME

      [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

      My nipples are huge and really hard right now, is that normal?

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

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        [–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

        Non-Serviam (I will not serve) - Satan to God in Milton's Paradise Lost

        [–]legly 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

        ya

        [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

        What do you like best about being my bitch?

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

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          [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

          Masturbates furiously