QuilldeVil

Please just know that you are not alone, no matter what the social media narrative pushes. Also know that many voices like yours are silenced for their dissenting opinion, and there are more of us than it appears. I won't lie - I find it a bit terrifying, but there are many eyes that are being opened every day.

My strategy is this: Going full-on TERF (and at this point I call myself a TERF proudly because what else am I going to do) with someone who is still drinking the kool-aid rarely works. They become defensive because they feel personally attacked and honestly believe they are doing the right thing and doing their part to protect an oppressed minority that evil Lesbians want to exterminate, or something. If it ever comes up in conversation, I break it down into smaller examples and personalize it, i.e. women have their own sports leagues for important reasons and a Hannah Mouncey in a physical contact sport is fundamentally unfair. Or I talk about my experiences working in a women's shelter and the issues we had whenever we provided residence to a transwoman. Or how awful my ex who decided he was a she acted during and after their transition process (I was young and thought I might be bi. Spoiler alert: I'm not). There are also, obviously, issues specific to women that trans will never know or experience, and I dance around these as well.

I think people can find connections and agreement in these smaller, specific examples, and honest to goodness there have been quite a few people I've engaged with in conversation that mostly agree with us but are scared to speak out. And I feel like I plant seeds and provide a sounding board once they do hit peak trans.

All in all, I am very grateful for the alternatives to reddit and that we have a place to gather here. Being a lesbian is a unique, difficult, and beautiful life, and all we can do is be there for each other.