Salman Rushdie - ".. If you are offended it is your problem, and frankly a lot of things offend a lot of people .."

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[–]ActuallyNot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Huh?

[–]HonkyTonky 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

The toilet paper gave me hiccups, so now I'm eating all of the wallpaper in my kitchen

The glue gives it texture

Wallpaper tastes a lot like macaroni and cheese

[–]ActuallyNot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

... no relevance to Salman Rushdie then.

I thought that there was some reference I was missing ... but no, you're just eating household paper products ...

I might just leave you to it then, mate.

One suggestion though: Maybe eat some prunes as well.

[–]HonkyTonky 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

I identify as a paper shredder.

[–]ActuallyNot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Trump could have used you in the whitehouse.

If he had someone to eat the documents before he flushed them, the photographic evidence would be less damning.

If he wins the next election, you should send him a resume.

[–]HonkyTonky 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

If I ate all those documents I would need security clearance to go potty again

[–]ActuallyNot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think your bowel flora would take care of the security risks. The problem is the destruction of documents that belong to NARA, but this will be more difficult to trace that Trump's "just rip it a few times, flush and hope for the best" illegal records destruction method.