When I was younger I actually wanted to participate. I wanted to have kids, to make society better, to contribute to the world etc.

Please keep trying to do this, especially with having kids. I don't think the madness will last forever. People in the middle of the French Revolution or the beginning of Soviet Russia might have thought it was all over too, but they were wrong. I think that survival is totally possible, but we need people who are willing to perpetuate the species and keep civilization going rather than give up.