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[–]SeasideLimbs 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

You can do it! It just may take a little time. I'd be very honest and clear about it from the beginning about what you are looking for. Whether you are meeting people in bars or clubs, or whether you're looking on dating sites or apps, just be upfront about how you are not looking for sex but looking to date someone who is interested in having a relationship.

You will have lots of people instantly losing interest, which you shouldn't take personally. That's just the guys who only want sex making clear who they are.

There will also be lots of guys who will try to manipulate you into having no-strings-attached sex anyways. They will usually say something like "Okay, no problem, but whatever happens, happens :)" You could try making clear that you will not have sex during the first meetup under any circumstances, no matter how well it goes. That should ward most of those types off.

Make sure to bring across those things as nicely as you can, of course. It's important to be clear about what you are looking for and confident in your goals, but you also don't wanna come across as stern or bitter or demanding.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]SeasideLimbs 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Hobbies are great. It's best in my experience when you want a relationship but don't necessarily have to have one to be reasonably happy. If you wanna find someone, it's most important to keep trying. There are shy people who have partners, unattractive people, even unlikable people or violent people. The difference between someone who has a partner and someone who doesn't is often just that one kept trying and the other didn't.