I used to slang Rich his supply of Lexapro. He was one of my top dollar customers; usually getting about 50-75 per visit based on how many subs he raked in during the last week. We would meet under the main boardwalk in the heart of Myrtle Beach. The usual plan was I would wait for him to pull up, it would be a 2 minute at most interaction, then back to our separate ways. Sometimes he’d be late with remnants of cracker crumbs in his neck beard (most likely from Wendy’s since they give you a side of crackers with their chili,) but lately up to our last interaction he would be waiting for me, 2 or 3 empty cans of Yoo-Hoo scattered on the sand underneath us. He’d almost always be angry with my dosage, claiming it wasn’t enough. I didn’t know much about his personal life until I had started doing a deep dive on YouTube and came across the “Down the Rabbit Hole” video of him. I just had thought I had a really fat, mean client on my hands. In reality, I was dealing with someone much more powerful and irritable than I had thought. This last week was my last straw. I meet him at the usual spot and his breath was REEKING of what smelled like wet cat food. Maybe cat treats? My grandmother used to feed her cat treats all the time and as soon as Richard opened his mouth to bitch and moan about his “low” dosage as he does, I took a whiff and immediately saw my grandmother and her cat in my head. I told Richard this was unacceptable, that I usually never pay attention to my clients’ personal life until I dealt with him. I gave him what would be his last sack of dope and hurried off, almost like a scared woman walking downtown at night.

After finding out who richard really was, and after escaping my impending doom, I am really excited to see what happens when he’s down to the last pill. What will become of Richard then? Surely he’ll try contacting me but you can bet your sweet booty, I’ll happily ignore his pleas, and even more happily sit back, crack open a nice can of Pepsi, and laugh at the fat, dope fiending, shrill of a man trying to get his life together through the power of charged back donations and rage quit after rage quit.