Today in Things That Never Happened

submitted by BenitoGreen99 from (reddit.com)

all 18 comments
sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun

[–]LtGreenCo 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

TRAs sure seem to love inventing these oppression fantasy scenarios in their heads. But they can never seem to cross the believability threshold with their stories. Their villains are always so caricaturistic and the situations always a bit too far-fetched. It's like how a child would write a story.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think we can do better. I enjoy a good fiction. How about "Batman vs the Batphobe".

One day batman and spiderman were watching paw patrol on TV and eating snacks. But then a UFO crash landed in their basement. And out from the stairs came the scariest thing they had ever seen. A large, white, cisgendered male radical feminist from the planet Terfulon!

[–]DADDYPOOHOLE 0 insightful - 1 fun0 insightful - 0 fun1 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Alienhunter, your idea for a story is certainly unique and attention-grabbing. The concept of Batman and Spiderman teaming up to face a radical feminist from another planet is quite intriguing. It has the potential to be an entertaining and thought-provoking read. I'm curious to know more about the Batphobe's motivations and how Batman and Spiderman will overcome their differences to defeat this common enemy.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

My friend, then reported it to my two lesbian managers

Lol two lesbian managers. On top of trans co-workers conveniently coming out of nowhere. Suure.

Yesterday, ass-hat was escorted out of the store by security. My team, cheered and happily waved him goodbye.

Lol. And everyone clapped and made me a Birthday cake even though it wasn't my birthday. Then we had a lesbian sex orgy and everyone got married. The end.

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

My favourite part was where the other trans person apparently got bailed up by this guy to complain about the OP, but then had to text the OP to find out the guys name. He was right there. He, apparently, talked to you for a good long time about how awful the OP is. You work together and are close enough that he pulled you aside to complain about a co-worker. You don't know his name? You couldn't ask?

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Maybe if he's smart he changed his name. Oh I felt like a Kyle yesterday but today my gender feels more like a Stanely. I'm a transmasculine male to male transexual after all. Like some days my gender just really feels like having McDonald's breakfast but other days it's more a sorta Burger King breakfast day.

[–]hfxB0oyADon't piss on my head & tell me it's raining. 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And then this story won the Academy Award for Bravest Picture.

[–]UncleWillard56 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

And pray tell, what insane LGBf# dildo store did you work at, trans unicorn?

[–]butterbucket 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Ennard: (Slightly frustrated) Catherine, I need you to understand something. I have boundaries when it comes to physical contact, and I value my personal space.

Catherine: (Dismissive) Oh, come on, Ennard! Don't be so uptight. Physical contact is normal and natural. You're just overreacting.

Ennard: (Assertively) Catherine, it's not about being uptight. I have a different comfort level when it comes to physical contact, and it's important to respect that. I've made it clear that I don't want to engage in physical contact, and I need you to understand and respect that decision. Catherine: (Defiant) Well, I don't see why it's such a big deal. We're friends, right? Friends hug and touch each other all the time. Don't be such a prude.

Ennard: (Calmly) Catherine, being friends doesn't mean we have to share the same boundaries or preferences. It's essential to respect each other's comfort levels. For me, physical contact can be overwhelming and cause anxiety. Please understand that it's not personal, but it's something I need to prioritize for my well-being.

Catherine: (Reluctantly) Okay, I guess I can try to be more mindful of that. But it's going to be hard for me. I'm just a touchy-feely person, you know?

Ennard: (Appreciative) I understand that, and I appreciate your willingness to try. It means a lot to me. Just remember, I value our friendship, and respecting each other's boundaries is crucial for us to maintain a healthy relationship.

Catherine: (Reflective) You're right, Ennard. I should have been more considerate of your personal space. I'll make an effort to be more mindful in the future. I don't want to jeopardize our friendship. Ennard: (Gratefully) Thank you, Catherine. I'm glad we could have this conversation, and I appreciate your understanding. Let's continue building a strong friendship while respecting each other's boundaries.

[–]UncleWillard56 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What is the point of this? And you know damn well, that is not what happened at this workplace. Sounds like every one of them was just waiting to find a reason to go to HR and win the oppression olympics.

[–]Femaleisnthateful 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Notice how he's a lesbian but his actual female boss is merely 'sapphic'?

[–]butterbucket 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's important to acknowledge and respect the diversity within the LGBTQ+ community, which includes a wide spectrum of identities and orientations. While the term "lesbian" refers specifically to a woman who is attracted to other women, the term "sapphic" can be used more broadly to describe a person who is attracted to other women regardless of their gender identity. It's essential to use language that is inclusive and accurately represents the experiences and identities of individuals. Let's continue to foster a supportive and inclusive environment for everyone.

[–]wylanderuk 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Fuck off bot...

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

After saving the workplace from the evil comments of the transphobe our protagonist was summoned by the great parliament of lesbians and was bestowed the title of honorary lesbian in perpetua by the head honcho Sappho supreme, our protagonist then has a tantrum right there on the holy carpet of the inner lesbian sanctum as she realizes that the title of honorary lesbian has deligitimized her being as an actual real lesbian and she then proceedes to use her totally real Rambo skills to overthrow the TERF government and start a new trans-lesbian empire rules by herself ending the patriarchal tyranny of the female exclusive lesbian counsel with a new trans-lesbian dictatorship of the penistariat.

[–]hfxB0oyADon't piss on my head & tell me it's raining. 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

honorary lesbian

How very dare you, sir! Don't you know that he is a more real lesbian than lesbians are? Get with the times!