Welcome to Alienhunter reviews DEI books! I'll be looking for the most eggrigiously silly ones, but I'll pick some random ones and I promise to be unfair in my judgements.

David Jumps In

This fits the DEI standard because apparently the game that David wants to play is Chinese or something. Regardless it's not important to the plot.

David is the new kid in school and has some weird ass game nobody knows about. Instead of playing with the other kids he goes around like an awkward twat until he finds some not so mean girls that are interested in playing his game. They play it and have fun. The end.

Wokeness rating : Sleepytime

Fun rating: watching paint dry.

Final verdict. Boring inoffensive story wasting the Earth's precious resources by existing. Recommendation for author, death by extreme hopscotch.

Maggie's Chopsticks

This is DEI related because I guess it's important to teach kids that Asians do actually exist and they will be better at using chopsticks than you.

Maggie is a little Chinese Girl who like most kids is bad at using chopsticks correctly. After being brutally verbally harassed by her grandmother's encouragement to actually have good table manners, her less old relatives tell her it's ok to be herself and take her time, she then practices with them, terrorizes her pet fish by pretending it is sushi comitting an unforgivable act of stochastic terrorism by making me imagine goldfish murder. Then she uses her chopsticks correctly. The end.

Wokeness rating: Zanex Overdose (good sexist quip against boys included, yay girl team! Boys are gross! Eww)

Fun Rating: IRS paperwork.

Final Verdict: It's important to protect Asian children from the dangerous stereotypes placed upon them. Chinese parents you raise your kid with a fork and knife to counter those harmful asian stereotypes like they all eat their food with sticks. I mean really imagine teaching your children about their culture in current year, let alone passing on outdated cultural traditions and stereotypes. If you go to Panda Express in Tokyo they don't even have chopsticks. Is that not the real essence of modern Asian culture? Recommendation for author, sentenced to pick up go pieces with a fork.

My Words Flew Away Like Birds

Immigrant girl moved to presumably Canada doesn't understand English and makes a friend. Meh. Hard to knock it. Though it's pretty fucking stupid that the girls inner monologue is in English when she doesn't understand English.

Wokeness rating: Coma

Fun rating : Getting a prostate exam.

Final Verdict: This book is imperialist trash that assumes the oppressed immigrant should learn the language of their oppressive colonial overlord instead of keeping their beautifully quaint indiginious language with it's cute grunts and silly sounding words.

Recommended punishment for author, Chinese crossword puzzles.

Nextdoor

Book without words about a deaf kid. Art style on par with shitty Facebook comics. Some stuff happens and shit and like it's totes boring until the end when this oppressive male sees the silouette of the female and he goes into her space uninvited, makes a crude cave painting style stick figure that reinforces heteronormative gender stereotypes, then makes a crude hand gesture that means "friends" suuuure.

Wokeness Rating: Long Haul Flight

Fun Rating: Airline Safety Card

Final Verdict: 👏✨ ♀️👠 🔫✨ 💕😘 🍆 🍑 ✌️ Authors fate: silence of the lambs

So like, most of these seem pretty tame. Standard shitty children's book fodder. Not particularly woke. I guess the one about the elevator had that weird ass gay couple dressed in what looked like BDSM gear and that seems super inappropriate. But that's the only real outrageous thing I noticed from a quick perusal, though I didn't check everything, maybe I missed the woke?

Gotta be careful with the outrage machine, gotta be very pointed in your criticisms or else they'll play the "you just hate inclusivity" argument.