If I woke up as a man, especially as a man who is a male equivalent of myself in terms of age and fitness levels, I'd spend a lot of time lifting things, doing pull-ups and running and jumping, so I could experience what male strength and explosive power is like. And I'd dance and do yoga to see if I missed the fluidity that I feel in my body. I'd probably do some experiments where I'd deliberately hurt myself a little to see if men and women experience pain differently. And yes, I'd absolutely have a wank because it would be odd not to see what that's like.

Then I'd feel sad about not going back to my own body because I like being me. But mainly because of how very, very, very disturbing it would be for my son to have to accept his mother in the wrong body. And that's the big difference between me and people who trans themselves. I want to stay in my body because the relationships I have with other people are centred on me being me and the most important relationship I will ever have with anyone is my relationship with my son. It would take the ground out from under his feet if I was to suddenly expect him to accept me as a different person. And at least if I was genuinely in a different body, I wouldn't be gaslighting him to accept me as someone else when I'm clearly still me, in the way that parents who trans themselves do.