Disliking the golden retriever stereotype is biphobia

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[–]gloomy_bear 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

I'm bisexual, and I have no idea what they are on about. Also "biphobia" is just homophobia, because usually the stuff directed towards bisexuals are homophobic remarks.

[–]jet199 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

There's a bit of fuss on social media now that some people, straight and gay, won't date bisexuals.

It's the trans "people not attracted to need to get over their prejudice" all over again.

[–]PenseePansy 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There’s a crucial difference between bisexuals and trans people here, though.

In order to date trans people, you must cater to their delusion, by pretending that you can’t perceive what sex they are. This is understandably a deal-breaker for pretty much everyone (“trans” people themselves included; most categorically refuse to date each other).

In order to date bisexuals... you don’t have to cater to, or pretend, anything. Because we aren’t pretending anything. Same as (non-trans) straight or gay people. So the only thing distinguishing us from straight or gay people here... is our sexual orientation. Which is, therefore, what we’re being rejected on the basis of. That straight and gay people find bisexuality/bisexuals distasteful somehow.

Well, if a bi guy refused to date gay men because he found homosexuality/homosexuals distasteful somehow... what would you call that?

To be clear, I’m not saying that, even if straight or gay people’s rejection of bisexuals is unambiguously motivated by the most virulent biphobia– “I won’t date bi people because they’re disgusting subhuman animals!!!”– it shouldn’t be treated as final; everyone gets total veto power in this area. Always. Whether I agree with their reasons or not. (And whether they even give any reasons or not; “because I don’t want to” is reason enough.) Would I like to see the no-bisexuals dating policy’s demise? Yes. But only organically, as a natural outcome of biphobia’s demise in society at large. And not because anyone is guilted (much less bullied) into it.

[–]NerveActive[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Bincels.

[–]BiHorror 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lescels, Bicels, Gaycels, Trancels. What's next?

[–]PenseePansy 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think that biphobia legitimately is different than homophobia, though of course they both have the stigmatization of same-sex attraction in common. When that's the focus-- and it often is-- biphobia and homophobia are indeed functionally-identical.

The thing is, each form of prejudice consists of two parts. The one that bisexuals and homosexuals don't share is the SECOND type of stigma: for homosexuals, that's lack of opposite-sex attraction; for bisexuals, it's lack of monosexuality.

The first stigma-type only gets us in trouble with heterosexuals. The second gets us in trouble not only with them, but often with homosexuals as well. Neither can understand a sexual orientation that includes both sexes. And therefore, to them... it often doesn't look like a sexual orientation at all. Hence the plethora of alternate explanations: "you're REALLY gay or straight, just confused, or screwed up, or a poseur, or a sex maniac", etc. Which are all just another way of saying: "you don't exist".

[–]BiHorror 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Also "biphobia" is just homophobia

Some of it. But gay men and lesbians aren't the same as bisexuals and vice versa. There'll be things that are different. Just like there's the "lesbophobia" term. Nothing wrong with having specific terms.

[–]gloomy_bear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Okay fair enough. Yes, bisexuals aren't homosexual or heterosexual, even if one prefers the same or opposite sex they aren't either b/c homosexuality is exclusively attracted to the same sex and vice versa for heterosexuals.