I officially have a sleep disorder

submitted by HornyToad from self.TruFemcels

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[–]Feelinveryblue 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

If you have sleep apnea you should be eligible for jaw surgery which will fix the issues you have and make you look and feel better.

Please, please see a physician and push for this.

[–]HornyToad[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Thank you feelinveryblue, I've been trying to push for jaw surgery but the covid pandemic really wrecked my life. I lost my job and had to use up savings and I can't even go to the doctor easily because I'm immunocompromised and if I catch covid I could end up on a ventilator.

My life is a joke. At this rate I'm going to have to wait until I'm 35 to look normal and start dating. I haven't even had my first kiss because I was excluded in high school and isolated in college. I lived so many years in my head that my youth passed me by and I only realized like 300 days ago that I'm extremely socially maladapted due to my looks and mental state.

Life is so cruel. I wish my parents had known about my bad health when I was a teenager so I could have gotten treatment under their insurance. I wish they would have paid for me to get plastic surgery too, but I can't blame them since money was tight.

It hurts to think about what my life would be like if I had gotten double jaw surgery when I was a teenager. I would look normal, and I might have even had a boyfriend by now.

One of my fears about relationships is I think that people become too weird and introverted to have a healthy relationship if they don't already have one before their late twenties...I'm already weird and ugly but I feel like I become weirder and more bizarre each passing year.

Even when I get my surgeries I don't think I'll be a good or even competent girlfriend.

[–]Feelinveryblue 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I feel the exact same way about me and my jaw situation, not only that but my body too.

It's as if there's a giant party where everyone gets a piece of cake and yours drops on the floor. Yeah you can pick it up and scrape off all the dirt and lint but it's still a piece of cake that fell on the floor. And now there's parts of that cake that you'll never get to taste like the beautiful icing because it had bits in it, but everyone else gets to have icing--

That's exactly what life is like for me.

Whilst I was off to the side trying to salvage my broken piece that barely resembles cake everyone was having their fun, sharing the experience with eachother while I missed it all.

And even if at the end of the party I'm lucky and manage to find a new piece of cake it's just not the same. I'll be all alone, having to rush my cake eating experience, hoping that I'll get to enjoy every bit before the lights shut off on me and I have to go home.