Need some help to act like a normal woman (repost from s/incels)

submitted by jebediahscat from (self.RealIncels)

My apologies in advance, I'm very bad at explaining things. (Edit 2: here’s photos of me for more info https://imgur.com/a/pIAVBjF)

So I used to hang around incel spaces for a while and one of the only things I've discovered is i don't think I act normal when it comes to men, and this is an issue. Incels say college women are getting fucked by Chad every chance they get. I'm 19, autistic and going into my second year of accounting and still a virgin. Incels have a very specific idea of what is an ideally attractive man. Literally all of them aren't to me, both IRL and on Tinder (that I kinda found boring anyway) and the men I do find attractive I don't feel like dating or having sex with. When I did try being sexual towards incels in discord spaces it never went well (my only defense being I reeked a lot more of insecurity). I consider myself average in terms of looks, and all past sexual interactions I had were strictly online and in mostly tenth grade (and I really hope pedos don't count).

I'm not sure what specific advice I'm looking for, but any help to fit in with other women would be great.

Edit: ok so there's 2 other problems I can for sure describe

Problem 2: Let's say there is an attractive man in my presence (idk Markiplier for example). I recognize he's an attractive man. Do I wanna date him? No, I can't get myself to feel that way. Do I wanna fuck him? Not really, leading to problem 3. I can only see him in a very aesthetic light, or whether I can add him in a fanfic. He could be a king, or a mafia boss, or trapped in a dystopian game show like in GenLoss, but nothing beyond those things. Hell they don't even need to be attractive, just look cool.

Problem 3: If I try to think about sex I simply feel nauseous. Idk how or why but a few years back I straight up couldn't masturbate anymore bc afterwards I had lots of bad feelings and I'd just cry really hard. It's gotten a little better I think, hard to say since I can't remember the last time I did it. For sure it's not related to a dude's attractiveness since I don't use my imagination for that sort of thing and also I straight up can't picture people.

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[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

Why would you ask incels about fitting in with women? And how can you be an incel if you don't want to bang? Jesus fuck.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I myself am not an incel (I think, there's been a lot of mixed opinions with me specifically). I trust incels to be more honest with this kind of stuff.

[–]bucetao6969 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Incel literally mean someone that can't get sex no matter what they do.

Naturally men around these incel circles tend to get the worst out of the redpills and manosphere and fall into a rabbit role of self deprecation and blaming the world for what they can't do.

I do think incels can't outgrow their problems. A leader of a incel group actually had to leave it because he got laid. Everyone felt a sense of betrayal. But it was true, he was no longer a incel.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah ''she'' can't even make up a troll/bait post that doesn't sound borderline retarded.

[–]sneako 6 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 5 fun -  (6 children)

The solution is simple. Go to a black neighborhood and yell NIGGER as loud as you can. I have a few good nigger jokes if you are interested.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (5 children)

The women around me IRL don't do this and also I'm white and not racist. (And don't be my mom and say find a nice jewish man, that's a whole other set of baggage)

[–]bucetao6969 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

He's a troll block him.

[–]bucetao6969 2 insightful - 4 fun2 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

Omg you're also white and complaining here about not getting sex, you're literally just fat do some gymaxxing fatty

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I'm 135 lb at 5'5, it's mostly ribcage

[–]bucetao6969 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Surely you're not lying? hmmm.

Alright, tell me what spectrum your autism disorder is in.

Send me some photos of you. In different types of clothing as well. Maybe you don't present yourself very well.

[–]jet199 1 insightful - 4 fun1 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Find a nice Jewish man.

Then bring him on Saidit to prove a point.

[–]Musky 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (12 children)

I'll sell you u/being-poisoned for use as a male escort. Cheap. Very cheap.

Incels say college women are getting fucked by Chad every chance they get. I'm 19

Yeah, that's not true. Incels have a very distorted idea of what the average woman experiences. For every party girl going out every night and getting stuffed harder than a cream donut by every chad she meets, there's 9 women leading perfectly ordinary, quiet and chaste lives.

[–]bucetao6969 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (11 children)

Do you believe a bodycount of 5+ is a "quiet and chaste" life?

[–]Musky 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (10 children)

5 isn't that bad, depends on the time frame. 5 a semester would be bad. You figure first boyfriend, rebound dude, hot guy who treated them like trash, and first real adult relationship is already 4. And that can span years and years. Too much away from that is getting on the ho-ish side.

You don't want to be someone's first and only in my opinion. They'll always wonder if the grass is greener on the other side.

[–]bucetao6969 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

If 5 isn't that bad, why so many women don't want to share their bodycount? Sure the andrew tathes "I don't want one that went through too much dicks" crowd would be "I guess I can settle for a 5 bodycount one" (most would) but the fact they will lie on a conversation about bodycounts with someone that wants them for marriage or most women don't want a conversation about bodycounts at all does tell me the "quiet and chaste" is NOT the majority.

"Sex is empowerement" being preached over and over not getting a pushback (I'm not counting post-walled unmarried women going on TED talks) and a culture of acceptance over normal women getting a onlyfans makes this reality pretty believable.

[–]Musky 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

If 5 isn't that bad, why so many women don't want to share their bodycount

Cause those women are way past 5. I really just think you don't hear from the good girls, you hear from the sluts.

[–]bucetao6969 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm currently in college. The blue-haired is the majority.

We're doomed.

I'm gonna get this damn degree and then it's passporting time.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

totally unrelated i was thinking of dying my hair pink again

[–]bucetao6969 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh my fucking god bro

do what I told you in the other comment

[–]jebediahscat[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I'm told they don't wanna share their bodycount cuz most men are very weird about it; even here not sure why it's a big deal (and don't say a thing about getting stretched out cuz a baby does the exact same thing and it goes back to normal size). Even myself, IRL there's nothing but if we're counting online I think I lost count somewhere at age 14. Also most women don't get an OF; I don't plan on it either bc I'd have no way to receive the money and I'm not exactly built for it.

[–]bucetao6969 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

'm told they don't wanna share their bodycount cuz most men are very weird about it

Of course they are. It means they went through more dicks. A woman that gives herself to anyone is a woman that cheaps out to any dick.

Men have to put in effort to earn a pussy. If the pussy gives itself to any dick, it's a lesser pussy.

and don't say a thing about getting stretched out cuz a baby does the exact same thing and it goes back to normal size

It does get stretched out. In both cases. Just look at vaginas from woman in porn.

Even myself, IRL there's nothing but if we're counting online I think I lost count somewhere at age 14

Porn doesn't count. Some woman don't count blowjobs as body count, I tend to aggre.

Also most women don't get an OF

A LOT of women do.

I don't plan on it either bc I'd have no way to receive the money and I'm not exactly built for it.

So you're admitting you would do it if you had a nice body? We live in a culture where selling yourself out for cheap is normalized.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

ok then a man who fucks every woman in sight also cheaps himself out. It's actually why I prefer incels, Chads are mostly whores. Why, if I had it my way no one would have sex at all.

And I've seen those vaginas. I literally tried to stretch mine out with a hairbrush and it still looks the exact same so you're still wrong.

What women have you met? Every woman I've met literally decides against OF because dudes ask when it's coming out. And frankly yes I would if I were skinnier bc my accounting course isn't doing so great and I had literally no backup major.

[–]greybeard 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

most men are very weird about it; even here not sure why it's a big deal

It's one of the best predictors if the woman (same for men) will be a good long term partner. There is a strong anticorrelation between body-count and marriage-stability. It's also heavily correlated with infidelity.

src: https://pastebin.com/5Axpk4vf

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My moms friend had a body count of like 20 and she’s still doing pretty good with marriage, she’s in her mid 50s like my mom. Not a shred of infidelity in sight (another friend of hers was the same but with one divorce cuz the first husband was a drunken bastard, second husbands going strong tho). And then there’s me with no body count cheating on everyone in sight so ig my social circle is outliers

[–]TaseAFeminist4Jesus 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

I was a virgin until I was 21 and the woman that finally made me a man had to be pretty forward about it. She was an extrovert, though, which you probably aren't.

So it's a tough question. Maybe look for men you find attractive who are more in the "recent graduate" phase of their lives than the "oh shit I have a test in Intermediate II" phase. Undergrad, possibly virginal non-Chad guys are going to be wound up pretty tightly around you.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Yea not a lot of socializing going on here, it's a work in progress though. Now comes problem 2: Say I do see a guy and I think he's attractive. As I said I don't feel like dating or having sex with them, rather I just see them aesthetically which I've been told is the not-normal part; if I do form a relationship it'll end up strictly platonic, which'll be a win either way cuz lord knows I need friends lol.

[–]jet199 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think you are disassociated from your desire. It is there but you are subconsciously denying it.

You should do some stuff to get in touch with your body like yoga, sport or dance.

Really you won't know what kind of men you personally like until you start interacting with them irl. Most grown women don't like pretty boys for that reason, that's a teen virgin thing.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Idk I've been trying, like I've been hitting the gym more often and I did badminton in the fall semester. I had a few guy friends in the past but those were strictly friends, and anyone else in university was mostly for group work.

I have a list kicking around of like famous people I do find attractive (lots of dark hair so that's a start) but again it's all in like an aesthetic pintrest type of light and not "I want this man to kiss/rail me" type. If I try to think of the latter not only does it make my stomach feel bad but also I simply can't picture people in my head so essentially my stomach's hurting over a picasso painting lmao

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can be your (online) friend if you want

[–]jet199 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You ain't ever gonna fit in with other women so let go of that dream right now.

You need to be interesting and have things to offer so you can be the weird friend they invite out occasionally.

Being reliable and not telling secrets will make you in demand as a friend even when they all fall out with each other.

Don't try to larp what normal women do socially because it doesn't even work out for them in the long term.

If you just want to look like a woman that men would be interested in that's pretty easy. Wear flowery dresses and natural makeup and ask him loads of questions about himself, which is his favourite subject. Don't talk about gossip or drama or your insecurities which will drag the mood down. Go out to to have fun and learn rather than to pin someone down.

[–]bucetao6969 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I don't see how you can be an incel. You're a woman.

If you can't get rammed by chad it isn't because you don't have good conversational skills it just means you're fat. Get a diet and hit the gym before you hit the wall and become literally unfuckable.

"Autism" is literally a non-factor in getting or not getting rammed when you're a female.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Again I never said I was an incel myself. Also I'm not fat in the slightest, it's mostly ribs (though I will gladly edit the post later to include a picture of myself if needed). Also now comes problem 3: if i even try to think about sex with a man it makes me sad and/or slightly nauseous. Certainly can't be anything to do with looks since I straight up can't picture people, and any online sexual interactions in the past were to please the guy and never think about myself.

"Autism" is literally a non-factor in getting or not getting rammed when you're a female.

You'd be surprised how many discord incels avoided me for being autistic lmao

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sounds like you just don't like sex. Why then do you need to have it?

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (12 children)

Go become a lesbian and leave men alone. Also, make a better troll post next time.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

I'm not trolling, and I can't be a lesbian if I don't swing towards women either

Edit: also does leave men alone include the mythical Chad?

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (10 children)

way to shoehorn ''mythical chad'' when it's clear I meant all men. I get your retarded attempt at trolling; basically you made an imaginary scenario of a woman ''behaving like an incel'' trying to get a point across, except there is no point because your entire babbling is made up and not based on reaility.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

Once again I’m not trolling, I literally sexually harassed incels in discord spaces so I could be as into sex as other women. I can give a few usernames with receipts

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

sexually harassed incels

Thing that incels don't do. So, as I said, Incels are better people than you.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Then how do you expect me to get men when Chads make me wanna kill them and normies are all idiots?

[–]grassfed 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Stop being a teenager

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I am 19 years old.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I don't expect that, since you are worse than incels.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Women can't be worse than incels tho, it's not possible by incel logic I thought

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Quite the contrary, and you are the prime example of that. In fact Incels have better personality than women in totality.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Then why do men get married? And why hasn’t my mom tried to kill herself or me?

[–]LadiesMan 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

When I did try being sexual towards incels in discord spaces it never went well

I've bolded the problem for you.

Autistic girls are the best girls and I'll find it very hard to believe that the "incels", if they really are, you're interested in will reject you if you are forward with them in the flesh. And that's what you'll have to be because this life breeds low self-esteem, it's not going to be the other way around.

Good luck to you unicorn because that will mean one less incel (through the good way) which I'll always support.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Well might as well be specific: in those spaces they'd seen my face prior to being sexual to them, and most thought I was pretty ugly and it kinda soured things. The main problem was eventually it turned more into harassment and unfortunately it got pretty bad that I had to be kicked more than once for the rest of the server's sake. So pretty much rejected for both appearance and severe mental issues (I'm in therapy since then and haven't come back either).

[–]LadiesMan 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Gee, Discord left you in therapy? Well, I'm sure your face is very nice, they probably thought you were trolling them. And my main point still stands, the low self-esteem inceldom breeds in turn breeds paranoia which is why you approach in the flesh.

[–]Mazurro 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Foid in just exist mode asking incels who were ridiculed entire life for the sake of finding a man - obviously finding someone who is somehow not an incel in subhuman body.

To fit in with other women just be retarded, follow looks only, watch the most generic shit possible and just exist - there are tones of men wanting to fuck you anyway, we both know you want Chad.

And fuck off from here.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well I got follow looks only, everyone with a mildly interesting face I keep in mind for fanfics and simply don't think about fucking them cuz it makes my stomach hurt. I got generic shit, I love internet horror (I've been getting back into EverymanHybrid recently), and the problem is when I've tried just existing I was 13-17 years old and all men were like 25-30+ so that doesn't count.And in the discords "just existing" became sexually harassing incels to the point I was kicked more than once and a mod had to pull me aside to question if I was a lesbian.

And back to problem 2: even if men wanted to fuck me I physically can't feel the same way. Also I still don't know what constitutes as chad (henry cavill is mid in looks and I will die on this hill).

Also no I won't, I like incels. They're honest and I value honesty.

[–]greybeard 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

My advice to you:

  • Stop trying to find a bf online, it will most likely fail. Your best bet is probably to get non-autsitic female friends and have them set you up. Look for nerdy hobbies, the women there will accept you while the man will accomodate your autism.

  • Looks: Lose weight and pluck eyebrows

  • Chad is an extrapolated trend that applies to >90% of women seeking a short term partner. If it doesn't work for you, stop thinking about it. Especially due to your autism it is very possible that you are an exception to this rule, and even if not, it doesn't matter.

  • Stay away from incel discords and forums like these. You won't be well received and and the only relevant part of the blackpills for you are that you should lock down a man as early as possible due to the wall (be married before 30), and that you have a huge advantage in dating, so play your cards right

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I don’t get the wall thing tho, there’s a lot of women past 30 that look pretty (and even if not shouldnt the logic apply to men as well so you’re all fucked once you’re 30?) my momma met my dad in their late 30s and they’ve been going strong ever since.

And once again with problem 2: how can I date if I physically can’t love the person outside of friendzones and aesthetics? That’s not normal for a woman, even for short term (and short terms another issue cuz problem 3 is even thinking about sex with a dude just makes me feel Bad™️

[–]greybeard 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

wall

It's a trend. Men are also affected but less hard then women, giving them a comparative advantage.

Even on reddit their coping about this constantly, where they usually deny stuff like this

https://web.archive.org/web/20230712033753/https://old.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/13mebf4/dua_lipa_and_french_director_romain_gavras_made/jkvs813/

I can't advise you on asexuality stuff. DM /u/OPStolen , I think he also dealth with it and can give some perspective if he's still around

One more thing: Delete your pictures and don't post them online. In 10 years we'll have AI that can find all your online pictures from a photo and then having posts on discord or fucking incel forums will be very embarassing.

[–]jebediahscat[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well I'll tell you right now I don't believe such a thing exists, and if you're relying on looks alone for a relationship regardless of gender you're in for a sad sad ride and also usually the only people I've seen talk about women hitting the wall in the past are the same dudes being 25 trying to get 14 year old gfs in germany or that I looked 34 at 18 (source: take a wild guess)

I kinda doubt it's asexuality atp, there's a surprisingly large overlap between that and autism so that's a work in progress with my therapist

The other thing: honey I can give you like 30+ discord usernames and countless omegle dudes who've seen me naked for like five years, im gonna get the AI treatment anyway. Besides, I've gotten more than enough reassurance there's not enough porn potential. I appreciate the concern tho.

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Why is being a "normal woman" so important to you? If it's merely to satisfy society's expectations, please consider just being yourself.

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It sounds like you're asexual and possibly aromantic as well. Contrary to what everyone thinks, it's not a sin to not have sex. It's not a sin to not have a relationship. It's not a sin to not have kids. If you don't want those things, don't look for them.

If you happen to live in a fundamentalist Christian family where these things are expected, tell them to have a look at Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7. If that doesn't convince them then it's not worth worrying about.