I’ve decided to equate men, in my mind, with drugs, like cocaine or whatever.

That's what it is essentially. Just brain chemicals. That's what all of life is anyway. Some people feel like acknowledging this makes life meaningless, but the only way it can be meaningful is if you decide it is. The sense of meaning also comes from your mind. It can be whatever you want it to be, so you don't have to stay stuck in that fairy tale fantasy of finding some perfect prince.

The reason women are so stuck on men is ironically the same reason men are awful - they're scary and violent. Finding one who'd let you hide behind their back used to be crucial for our survival. But in modern times, it's the person you choose to hide behind that is the most dangerous, as statistics have shown. Unfortunately our instincts evolved in a different time and haven't changed since then. So women will always have those submissive tendencies even if it's self-destructive. But if you're lucky you can find a sense of stability and security from something other than a romantic relationship.