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[–][deleted]  (6 children)

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    [–]Dudukolo[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

    I see. Do you think if you were from a liberal or secular background, you would feel much more pressure to lose your virginity with some dude or be sexually positive and date and fuck a bloke even if you are not attracted to males even a bit?

    Is it possible that a lot of women who lied that they have to fuck dudes due to religion are actually not lesbians but bis with heavy preference for women or just heavily regret their decisions and thus to try find excuses?

    Also is it true that zoomers are having much less sex in the West and virginity rates are increasing among young males? That should makes its easier for lesbians even closeted ones to be goldstars if they feel much less pressure to date, fuck or marry males.

    Btw do you mind if I pm you for something?

    [–]oofreesouloo 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

    I know I'm not the one you were talking to, but I thought I'd share my experience. I came out as lesbian to many people (including parents) at 14. I've felt a HUGE pressure to date guys ESPECIALLY since coming out, in particular from my mother, hoping I would "end up with a guy". I've heard it from plenty of people all the most stupid things possible, like "you haven't met a mature guy yet", "how do you kow you won't like it if you never tried it?", "you only say you like girls because you think the love is more "sweet" LMAO, "there's few guys in our class", and so on. I am very resilient and I stood my ground and I always stood up for MYSELF, so I ended up a gold star. But I can totally understand why a more insecure lesbian would try to date some guy to fit in or to please unaccepting or homophobic parents, because as teenagers that's all we want to feel - to fit in with the rest. It was tough for me, despite being able to stand my ground.

    [–]Dudukolo[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    Holy shit your mother seems crazy. Its great that you have a lot of resilience and backbone. How common are gold stars among young lesbians in your country?

    Are you from a religious or conservative background? Where I live, its rather easy to be a goldstar due to extreme stigma towards premarital sex and relationships and that virginity is highly expected and valued for both girls and guys.

    Also forced or arranged marriages are very uncommon here, so most lesbians here can remain spinsters for life or be in secret relationships while pretending to be a spinster or single in public.

    [–]oofreesouloo 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    I barely know any lesbians in my country. We have zero visibility here, so I really, honestly don't know. I happen to meet more bi women though. I'm not from a religious or conservative background, but that doesn't mean homosexuality isn't still stigmatized. It is and that was what lead to my mother's reaction. That being gay is somehow "abnormal".

    [–]Dudukolo[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    That's so sad. May I ask if it is a Western country? I would thought that Western countries would be more liberal and progressive in these areas?

    [–]oofreesouloo 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    It is. And it is actually more of a liberal country. Gays are okay here overall. But it doesn't mean we don't get stigmatized from time to time and It highly depends on your family and friends and context. Here you can either find incredibly LGB friendly people or extremely regressive conservative people.