I definitely feel you, OP and was despairing about the same thing on a lesbian/bisexual Facebook group some years back. I can laugh now about the idea that perhaps this is the definitive lesbian experience lol. Idk if you saw my other thread about how we should let go of the lesbian label and adopt another one but it was for these very reasons you stated. I made that thread because I feel if we get another one we can draw a line in the sand harder to gatekeep and compel others to police this label for us on our behalf and actually have a chance at authentic lesbian community. Perhaps one or two people were feeling it but it didn't fly. I don't really care what has to be given up, I'm tired of things being this way and want to fight back. And tho I mentioned in another thread I'm a misandrist, I was a lesbian long before then, a lesbian when I thought men were inherently cooler and more intelligent and still one now that I'm not such a idiot.

Women stop time for me, when women experience pleasure that is what turns me on. That's why I think I'm sorta a cuck, because it pretty much doesn't matter where women are getting that pleasure from, the fact it does it for her does it for me. Even when I've heard women talking about men having these amazing personalities or stunning features or great sex and I meet and became friends with these type of men that never drew me. Even when they were friendly to me or made it clear they'd fuck me the only thing notable was the fact that they'd made a pass at a woman with a mustache lol. With women, I always want them around. I always want to hear what they have to say. I'm always curious about her world, I always get giddy when one shows me a speck of affection, I always want to see her how she really is and not what the world demands she be like. Warts and all. My world just becomes more vivid, my mind beings to world build and I wish to strip us of our suffering and fears in a profound way. I want to go the distance for women, I cannot explain this love. Though this love has recently been being fed for some political reasons as well, even before, when I was blissfully unaware of sex based oppression, I never felt that way about men. I admired men if there was something to admire and wanted certain qualities for myself but never them. Harder to convince people of that now but idc. I don't think anyone precieves us of having a legitimate sexuality anyway. You aren't alone tho, OP.