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[–]Fox_Whispers2[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Firstly, I just want to say thank you to everyone for your responses. I wrote this last night feeling teary and alone and I'm so glad this community exists. I spoke on the phone with my girlfriend yesterday, told her how I felt insecure about the status of our relationship. For those questioning the contradiction between her being a proud bisexual, yet not wanting to offend 'the others'; I'm her first serious girlfriend (she dated a couple of women in the past but they ended badly). Her family are friendly to me, though they've told my GF that 'being with someone of the same sex will make life harder'. 'The others' are her colleagues who she has on Instagram - she's worried about discrimination in her mostly male workplace. My girlfriend said she'd like to put up a picture of us on to mark our one year anniversary, though she says doing so will be a big thing for her because she's still getting over homophobic bullying she received when she was a child. I don't want to make her feel like she HAS to do this just to please me, I just would've hoped it wouldn't have been such a big deal - and now I'm really doubting the seriousness of this relationship. That being said, she's supported me a lot this year - emotionally. She's patient, makes me laugh, makes me consider different view points - and I think I could marry this girl. What gets me is she was the first one to say "I love you" and "Marry me (One day). " We've even looked at pictures of houses together. She even stated "given we've done all these things, putting up a picture of us is still a really big thing". So I guess I'm still stuck. But I sincerely appreciate everyone's input.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

idk it's a little strange to me. I don't follow my coworkers on instagram because I don't associate with them outside of work. Her coworkers follow her so I'm guessing there's some kind of closeness/friendliness there? If that's the case then I don't really understand why she would be scared of them discriminating against her, but I'm not her.

She says she loves you and wants to marry you but talk is cheap. If she's so worried about homophobia that she won't even put up a picture, I don't know how she would handle being married to a woman. And she "openly loves men and women equally" so it's not hard for me to imagine her choosing the path where she won't have to put up with homophobia.

I really hope she's actually serious about committing. So far, all her excuses seem weak to me. Instead of giving you distant hope of commitment by saying "Marry me", she should show how committed she is and how prepared she is to deal with the homophobia that will inevitably come with your relationship right now and put that picture up.