Most of my friends, not his, arent financially well off like his are but what i've noticed is that every single one of us genuinely felt like a girl inside a boy's body when we were younger. it was validated, affirmed and supported by people around us because all my gay friends were raised with and identified as girls. Our definition of gay was just "a girl trapped inside a boy's body" and i accepted that. These are 5 close friends of mine. When we met other gay people, we realized that it wasnt "wrong" to feel this way but that was the only way to conceptualize ourselves in homophobic environments. I thought this was a universal experience but apparently my husband and his friends never felt this way. So there is something going on here that has to do with your environment and how you perceive yourself. They also seem far more masculine than my friends in every way so i now understand that my psychology and personality isnt inherent to my homosexuality but my environment?

I think thats why my husband and his friends dont really seem to care even if theyre gay. This is an alien experience to them and surely if they felt like girls in boy's bodies then they must be what they say they are because they never felt that way...and on the other end you have gay people screaming on the internet saying "we thought this was a universal experience? That every single gay person has truly and genuinely felt like a girl inside a boy's body and experienced intense and suicidal levels of gender dysphoria and it's an inherent part of the gay experience!" and i was surprised to learn it wasnt. im not even that feminine but i remember the extreme anxiety and if these people were around when i was 13 i absolutely would have transformed that anxiety and disgust with myself into a transexual identity.

My partner and his friends come from liberal and well to do families by the way and my friends come from primitive, bigoted and backwards families and cultures. Im not saying money is somehow connected to gender dysphoria but the more primitive the environment, the more intense it seems to be.

Again, my definition of gay when i was younger is really shocking to me looking back. That to be gay was to be a girl trapped inside a boy's body and when i encountered gays who didnt feel this way, then they must have not been "true gays" but those feelings are so alien to me now and the "dysphoria" disappeared but i think it comes from how much heterosexism you're exposed to.