You have to throw out the right kind of bait to catch the right kind of fish. Don't be "gayer" if you don't want to hang out with people who would only hang out with you if you were "gayer," those are not your people. Don't try to fit in with people you don't even like. There are plenty of other gay men out there just like you who feel the exact same way about these queer usurpers. I have no idea how you all will find each other, but you are not alone. Statistically speaking 1-3 out of every 100 men you meet will be either gay or bi.

A lot of those Middle America states have like a main city where gay people hang out (Lincoln -Nebraska, Lexington - Kentucky, Columbus - Ohio, etc...) it sucks having to commute to East Bumblefuck in the middle of nowhere just in hopes of meeting a random stranger, but it's still better than having to hang out with the blue haired softboi who wants to show you his clitty.