Both: Early childhood socialization and what causes people to become trans

submitted by worried19 from (self.GCdebatesQT)

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[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

I find it too hard to trust anyone who claims to have many vivid memories of toddlerhood or very early childhood.

What might be a very real memory of some vague distress is painted over with newer information and the emotional state you’re in when recalling an event. This feels particularly true when reading the thousandth account of a man claiming he ached and battled himself internally over fondness for dresses at six.

[–]worried19[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

That's true. Maybe some people can remember their early childhood very well, but I only have foggy memories and a handful of clear flashes of certain scenes. But I do distinctly remember the feelings of distress associated with female presentation. I was normally a placid and agreeable child, but I know I had violent, screaming tantrums on this topic alone. I was not the type of kid who had them otherwise, and my parents have backed that up. Their memories of this time are obviously a lot clearer than mine.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I’m sure you experience the recollections as very vivid and real but I highly doubt you’re the one person who can have in depth and unbiased memories of being 3.

I’m not saying it never happened, but I can’t reasonably accept a toddlers memory with much seriousness.

Kids may well be very distressed at that age, but no adult remembers how ignorant they were as wee babes, or what sort of reasoning they were using. The memories are always heavily influenced by time and current emotions.

Like, your example sounds less like any sort of dysphoria and everything like a normal childhood tantrum over wearing/playing what you wanted to. All children do that regardless of the preferences they throw the tantrum over.

[–]worried19[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I think my point was that someone could easily read a trans history into my early childhood if they wanted to, due to the severity of the distress. It wasn't exactly normal. But in my case it turned out simply to be a sign that I rejected female stereotypes, not that I was really meant to have been born a boy.

But I do believe that trans people who remember those feelings from their early childhoods are at least remembering the distress accurately, even if they apply an adult's interpretation into why they may have felt it. None of us can go back in time and get inside of the head of who we were at 3, 4, or 5 years old.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Oh sure they’re remembering distress but imo it’s layered over with so many decades of sexism that they can’t possibly expect anyone to take them seriously when they claim to have felt like a girl since they were two.

Heaps would read trans from your normal tantrums and it’s really scary

[–]worried19[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I still take them seriously. We should not be uncritical when it comes to early childhood memories, but I don't believe they're completely inaccurate or unreliable. And we do have evidence of children with extreme dysphoria at young ages because some were brought into clinical settings and observed. I don't think that just because a dysphoric child was never taken to a gender clinic that they are retroactively assigning dysphoria where none existed.

The feelings may have been real. But it's just important to remember that those feelings are interpreted through an adult lens. And a GC adult is going to view their childhood with a GC lens and a trans adult is going to view their childhood with a trans lens.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

How much of that dysphoria is really about the child’s distress over their physical sex opposed to their personality and preferences not aligning with the gender norms they are entrenched in?

Your own childhood dysphoria as described here sounds like it was largely alleviated by being allowed to break gender norms. How many trans kids are being medically experimented on when simply being allowed to express themselves a bit more freely would have helped?

[–]worried19[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

That's why I'm completely against medicalizing children. You can't know whether a child's distress is temporary or permanent. If left alone, the vast majority see their distress resolve at puberty.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes! The medicalising gender nonconformity is disturbing. Imo it’s practically a punishment for a kid being gnc.