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[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

How is QT against LGB (and saying "trans lesbians are lesbians" is not against LGB)?

[–]VioletRemihomosexual female (aka - lesbian) 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Homosexuality is innate, it is not some "preference", and we can not "unlearn love for pussy and accept penises". You know how many straight men said to me exactly the words that transwomen are saying to me nowadays? Sexuality does not work for genders it is about sex. For me, having synesthesia for smells, I can tell who is trans by just sniffing them, I do not need to see them, and my organism just does not work for it. I was born in homophobic society, where everything about homosexuality was banned, I always had crashes on women, but did not know that women can be together, later I was married on a man, as everyone was saying that it is impossible to be with women or to love women, however nothing was working, sexologist said I am frigid - I still really, really tried to get aroused, we tried everything and I was really wanting to become heterosexual or bisexual and love men, but nothing worked, I thought I am asexual. Gladly after divorce I met bisexual woman who was in USA and "frigidness" vanished like first snow under rain. Later students in my university saw I am kissing with woman, and beated the shit out of me after lessons, principle saw that but said nothing, she only stopped them from raping me, later I was fired from job when boss learned I am lesbian from somewhere, and all the time I had men around me trying to get into my panties, all were saying that "your husband was just bad in bed" or "bad person", a lot of men were saying "I love women and effeminate, so I am lesbian-man" (our language is gendered, so they were using masculine version of word lesbian), they were saying that "you just need to find good dick" or "my dick is special", sending me dickpics in social media. And you know what? Transwomen/transbians are almost all pre-op, and they are acting exactly the same, saying exactly same phrases, even sending me dickpics (I deleted my social media because of few stalkers from them), now just "I am effeminate and my dick is effeminate, so I am lesbian", "you just never tried transbian dick", "my dick is girldick, so it is special" and so on. They do not understand the homosexuality at all, all this is extremely homophobic, like really really strongly. Queer men and women are pushing from other side - most of them are straight, but still calling themselves lesbians and pushing around in social medial or news their view of lesbianism that has nothing to do with real lesbianism and more porn inducted or some weird stuff not connected to sexuality or sexual attraction. And the whole idea that gender-non-conforming women and lesbians must be a man is both homophobic and sexist. So many transmen are just young lesbians who are running away from this garbage and finding that it is the only way for them together in today's society. I can rant forewer, days and days. It is just same old sexism, with exactly same words, with exactly same victimisation and gaslighting, nothing has changed.

And if you interested - yes, I tried with post-op transwomen. And no, my body did not responded still, even tho neo-vagina visually looked very close to real one. However, everything in that person was not female, and that person did not know female body, feelings and zones as well, and female experience was lacking either, and even scent was absolutely different (and that person was on hormones for 20 years, since teen years), and neo-vagina was not able to self-lubricate as well, just everything was wrong and my body was not arousing, even thought I really tried.

And refusing someone sex - is not same as hating them. Not wanting to date someone or some group of people - is not same as hating them. When we are saying "no", this means no.

Homosexuality is not a choice, it can not be unlearned. If it was a choice - gays in Iran or Saudi Arabia would be just unlearning it and not being executed. If it was able to unlearn and learn new sexuality - I'd be still married and living happy life (my ex-husband was really good person, I am still friends with him, he may be one of the best men I know), but it can't be unlearned. It is just facts. Saying otherwise is homphobia, pushing dicks on lesbians - is homophobia. Sexual orientation is not someone's else validation. Saying "unlearn genital preferences" - is conversion therapy.

[–]catoborosnonbinary 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well said. Every human being should read your post. I wish I could vote for it 1000 times.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Saying that males can be lesbians is actually against the L in LGB. Since... lesbian is a term for a female exclusively sexually attracted to other females.

Pushing lesbians to sleep with transwomen who are pre op (but also honestly, post op as well) is inherently anti lesbian, since... lesbian is a term for females exclusively sexually attracted to other females (and even post op TW aren’t females)

The idea that someone who is same sex attracted is a transphobe for not including a member of the opposite sex just because they are trans in their dating pool is inherently anti-homosexuality, since... at best a trans person can maybe have genitalia intended to resemble the opposite sex’s genitalia but will never actually have it and they still haven’t changed sex. So forcing this idea that gay men or lesbian women have to open themselves up to sleeping with someone of the opposite sex is pretty much conversion therapy borrowed from back in the day “Christians”.

Saying that bisexual no longer means attracted to both sexes is inherently anti bisexual, so is the implication that I’ve seen so often that a bisexual person should be open to sleeping with any trans person, pre or post op. Maybe it’s not biphobic but it’s incel speak at it’s finest

The fact that some TW can’t accept that being in a relationship with another male (or TM with another female) means they are literally in a homosexual relationship is pretty anti homosexuality. It places value on a heterosexual relationship when there’s nothing wrong with homosexual relationships and they shouldn’t care that technically, definitively, they would be in one.

The idea that’s being spread now, that a gay woman or man should “reevaluate their (genital) preference(s)” to include trans people of the opposite sex is basically saying that sexuality is a choice, it’s a preference that can and should be unlearned. It contradicts the point we make about being born lgb, not choosing to be. It’s also coercive as fuck which is not anti lgb but is a huge problem.

Eta- obligatory not all trans people do this even tho the ones that don’t don’t do shit to stop this from being said and forced on people

[–]catoborosnonbinary 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I am in almost total agreement with you, but I also recognise that language is descriptive and not prescriptive, and some trans women use the term lesbian to describe themselves. Some people are attracted to the feminine sex characteristics that some trans women have, and some of those people are women. This is not my experience, and for many including myself, sexual attraction is a primitive instinct tied closely to immutable biological sex. But this is not everyone's experience. It seems strange to call a trans woman attracted to women straight. I am cool with trans women describing themselves as lesbians, but trans women have precisely zero right to demand that cis lesbians find them attractive. Trancel talk of "genital preferences" is homophobia.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Thank you. I respect your opinion. My only thing is- language is descriptive, but trans people seem to want to ignore the fact that there are descriptors that don’t need to be warped for them. Lesbian describes a female attracted to other females. It has nothing to do with males. What is wrong with being bisexual? Why can’t a woman who typically dates females but who is open to sleeping with transwomen refer to herself as bisexual, even if she adds the caveat of only being attracted to transwomen and women? A trans woman attracted to women is still a straight male. Why can’t they be acknowledged?

I get why they want to use these words- I actually used to not even care that they use them, tho I thought they were using them incorrectly. My issue is forcing it. TW are being welcomed into female spaces and then dictating language usage. That’s not okay. You can consider yourself a lesbian if you’re a TW attracted to women, I can’t stop how you see yourself- you have no right to force me to accept that you’re a lesbian and certainly no right to pressure me to include you in my sexuality (I’m not a lesbian, I’m bi. I’m just saying...). The only way lesbian fits a transwoman is if you think TWAW. I don’t think that, so I don’t see how it applies to them, ever. I used to be okay with TW calling themselves women or even lesbians, but now it seems like anything you accept from them leads to more taking and more erasure so now it’s like I want to protect women and girls too much to ever be comfortable with TW calling themselves women and lesbians. It’s just one more thing to take. It’s just one more area to infiltrate and take over and warp to suit them.

[–]ColoredTwiceIntersex female, medical malpractice victim, lesbian 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The only way lesbian fits a transwoman is if you think TWAW.

Even then it holds not true, because lesbian is female homosexual, not woman gender sexual. So you need to abandon science and believe that penis is a part of female biology and that female studies should no longer be only about female body, but about male body as well. And that makes everything even worse, as female body is heavily understudied in compare with male body.

Homosexual person is attracted to sex, not to gender. Saying otherwise is homophobia and one of things homosexual people were fighting against. And now when not conservatives are saying same thing - it is now okay suddenly? Why when not conservatives are saying homophobic, racist and/or misogynic thing and enforcing them same way as coservatives before - is okay? It is not okay.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree. I was trying to say I get why they want to refer to themselves as lesbians based on their logic. I don’t think the word lesbian (or woman, or girl, or female, or she, or her...) is appropriate for transwomen ever

[–]catoborosnonbinary 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I do not think anyone should be able to force someone else to conform to their language or worldview.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree.