My boss in Oak Ridge was a lefty California import. I bought myself a sub machine gun at the local Class 3 Gun Shop and made the mistake of telling him. He was all butt hurt that I bought a gun and it was a machine gun. This was in 1985. He's dead now.

submitted by IkeConn from self.ButtHurt

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[–]hfxB0oyA 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Does his being dead have anything to do with him not being armed?

[–]IkeConn[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I wish it did but he just got fucking old.

[–]noshore4me 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

https://youtu.be/17LsKpKhkvE

[–]IkeConn[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I knew of this guy that took a shit in the woods. He wiped his ass with poison ivy. We called him Forrest Dump.

[–]Zapped 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

I thought you were from Atlanta?

[–]IkeConn[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I was born west of Atlanta in Harralson County. Dad worked at UNIVAC. He was transferred to Chattanooga in 1967 and I went to college at UT Knoxville. My first job was in Oak Ridge at the company that invented the touch screen. There is a piece of me in your pocket right fucking now.

[–]Zapped 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

I have heard there's some weird stuff that goes on around Oak Ridge. I guess because of the Oak Ridge National Laboratory and security associated with that.

[–]IkeConn[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

What like the 3 eyed deer and hidden stockpiles of fissile materials? Then there is Skunk Hollow. A 2 lane into town. Always a stinky dead skunk there. The Knoxville PD used to dump homeless people in Oak Ridge until one of them got hit by a car during rush hour and smeared the highway with blood and gunts.

[–]Zapped 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I can't remember any specific stories. This was almost 30 years ago.

Isn't there a pit around there where Craftsman used to dump all the returned wrenches? That may have been another wives' tale.

[–]IkeConn[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Never heard the Craftsman wrench story. Oak Ridge was a great place to get laid.

[–]Zapped 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

The guys I heard these stories from were from Johnson City, but had relatives in that area.

The rural Appalachians don't have much to do besides hunting, drinking, and screwing, so......... Well, now there is the pill-popping and meth, too.

[–]IkeConn[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No meth or coke in Y-12 or K-25 plants. Too much fissile maerial in there. I have heard stories about workers putting their radiation badges on smoking hot uranium and cooking the badges. After they were read by management they didn' say a fucking thing about it. The man will let you get cooked and ignore it for insurance and worker's comp reasons.