Can you please join me in my effort to pray for u/211

submitted by Titanic from (self.AskSaidIt)

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]NastyWetSmear 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

What are we praying for? For him to finally get a woman? For him to just relax and chill out? For God to have mercy on him? I'm not religious, but if I'm going to pray for a guy I kinda wanna know what to ask for.

"Dear God, in your infinite wisdom you have seen fit to make our brother, u/211, a total lost cause. Please, oh Lord, help him get his dick wet just once so he can calm the fuck down... If not for him, for the rest of us who have to listen to him ask when we are going to join his incel rebellion once a week. Amen."

[–]Questionable 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

I think he's in pain from taking erectile dysfunction drugs, and having one of those 12 hour boners, that won't go away. Or that could just be something I've made up in my head, as I've never once read a single thing he has ever posted, and don't care to figure out what any of this is about. Oh poor boner boy. Hope you get well!

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Ahhh, let me modify my prayer then.

"Oh Lord our God, thou knowest the turgid ache that maligns the trousers of your childe, u/311. By the passage of the sun, it has been greater than 4 hours, and yet the rigidity of his member remaineth. Lord, in your mercy, strike down his one eyed devil that it may rest comfortably in his pantaloons once more, forever more, and never again sully his thoughts with it's swollen wickedness. Amen."

[–]Titanic[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

devil

You missed your chance to call it the "serpent"

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Damnit. You're right. I'm sorry. :(