That is the best one
There's a black chipit?
The one where 16 year old me was fucking 16 year old Connie and she was yelling "Jesus Christ" and "Oh my God" for 15 solid minutes. It was totally Biblical.
Sick fuck
Just go to the holocaust museum like a decent person
[deleted] 9 months ago ago
KYS
My favourite is when God tells Moses to go back to Egypt to free His People, then changes His mind so He sends the Angel Of Death to kill Moses. But instead of just killing him, the Angel decides to have some hot man-on-angel gay wrestling with Moses, until Mrs Moses stops the bout by taking the bloody foreskin from newly-circumcised baby Moses Jr and rubbing it on Moses' forehead.
which bible version are you referencing ?
As far as I know, all of them, although I admit I haven't checked them all.
The New International Version has God himself come down from Heaven to fight Moses. Exodus 4:18-31:
24 At a lodging place on the way, the Lord met Moses and was about to kill him. 25 But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin and touched Moses’ feet with it. “Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me,” she said. 26 So the Lord let him alone.
with a footnote that the meaning of the Hebrew phrase "touched Moses' feet with it" is uncertain. Other translations have her touching it to Moses' forehead.
Lot and his daughters of course.
All evil people await the same fate.
You have an appointment to hold and you will not be late.
Your future has already been written in stone.
Prepare thyself for an eternity without God.
This is your reward for your evil deeds.
All praise to the creator of gravity and time.
Kind regards,
Trans Bob
Onan
Musky |15 pointswritten 9 months ago ago
When Lot's daughters get him drunk so he'll impregnate them.