Well, I understand you. But it seems to me that you are not obliged to learn a language that you do not like, especially since you have a mental block. Personally, I like to learn different languages a little and I want to share with you a lesson https://promova.com/blog/depth-of-love-in-multiple-languages with which you will learn love phrases in different languages of the world. It's a pretty cool idea to make a declaration of love to the person you love.