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CDC Says You No Longer Have To Wear A Life Jacket Outside In Case Of Rain(babylonbee.com)

87 points86 points89 points submitted by Drewski
all 5 comments

JasonCarswell 5 insightful - 7 fun5 insightful - 6 fun6 insightful - 7 fun 2 years ago

A+++

Those fools, I'm getting my air injection next week. I expect to remain boyant for the rest of my days.

johnnybravo 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun 2 years ago

Step 1: inject yourself with air

JasonCarswell 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun 2 years ago

Step 2: Exspire.

[deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun 2 years ago

Her state of Texas removed the life jacket mandate several months ago, causing many experts to predict there would be a massive spike in drownings,

Hmm, I wonder if the author was aware Texas was the second worse state child drownings at pools and spas in 2018 and the worst in 2019.

Not to clutch pearls, but kinda a bad example to use.

JasonCarswell 1 insightful - 4 fun1 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 4 fun 2 years ago

Maybe they were diving for pearls and ended up at the pearly gates.