"Redskins Change Name To 'Lizard People' To Better Represent Population Of Washington, D.C."

submitted by Robin from (babylonbee.com)

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[–]Tom_Bombadil 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

"I pushed for 'The Turtles,'" said Mitch McConnell. "But Lizard People is acceptable, I suppose. It implies patriotism, good football, and a reptilian conspiracy to enslave puny, meaningless humanity beneath the glorious, scaly claws of lizardkind, humans forever in subjugation to their cosmic superiors, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"I mean, um... can you believe how bad Nancy Pelosi is?"

"The Turtles", from McConnell.