isnt pretty much every thing in life all about playing a role?

Playing games. For fun.

i am curious, would you establish a "safe word" with your kidnapper?

Yes but I don't do crazy stuff where I'd need to use it. I'd basically just sit there.

Or would you trust that he would know how far to take you?

It would be a she, and I'd know what's going on beforehand.

In fact, in a real "kidnapping/extraction", the kidnappee either performs and behaves as requested or they lose something that is important to them, perhaps life itself.

No, it would be much more just me being overpowered and abducted. I'd be too helpless to need a threat, ideally for real but since very few women are stronger than men I'd probably have to fake it.

My preference is that i would find two very nice females that would accept their positions as my servants and my slaves, but that in public they will be expected to dominate every thing and every one, sometimes including myself.

I hear that's pretty common actually, as paradoxical as it is.