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[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 6 fun11 insightful - 5 fun12 insightful - 6 fun -  (4 children)

clickbait 😆

I wouldn't say you lost a friend because you're a lesbian since she doesn't know you are.

tl;dr: my formerly close friend was sexually abused by an older woman, and I can't really be friends with her anymore because she'd be creeped out if she knew I'm a lesbian

You said that you suspect that she was also sexually abused by her older brother. So I have to ask, is she creeped out by straight guys? If yes, then yeah she probably will be creeped out by lesbians too because of that older woman. However, if she was abused by her older brother but is only creeped out by lesbians, then she's likely just homophobic 🤷

you won't really know how she'd react unless you tell her. You might as well, there's nothing to lose since you already consider the friendship lost.

[–]lmaonope333[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

You might as well, there's nothing to lose since you already consider the friendship lost.

I'm worried about how she'd react. Right now she just sees me as a friend that lost contact. If she found out I'm gay she might think that I saw her as something other than a friend. Plus, shes extremely naive about sexuality, last time I spoke to her she didn't even know about straight sex let alone that lesbians exist

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

If you tell her and she thinks you had a crush on her just because you're a lesbian, tell her flat out that you are not attracted to her. That's what I do when a woman thinks all lesbians automatically want her. I low-key enjoy doing that tbh.

You know... the more you talk about this girl the harder it is for me to understand why you would even want to be close with her again. I personally would not be able to form a deep friendship/connection without someone who is that clueless about the world. It would be like chatting with a child. But to each their own. I'm not sentimental or a nice person so I wouldn't have any patience or compassion for it

[–]lmaonope333[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I grew up in an insular community so it was pretty rare to find friends who were worldly. And we had a lot in common, personality wise. Shes willfully ignorant about sex and I'm pretty sure its because of some sort of past trauma but I always had plenty of things to talk to her about that dont involve sex/sexuality

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Makes sense