A virgin man as old as you walking around, daring to exist?

Shame on you. How DARE you. Who told you you could inhabit this space with me, subhuman? I am forced observe you for a few excruciating milliseconds when I am out on my morning jog. You really aren’t a pleasant sight. And you have the AUDACITY to show up to the movie theater when my hubby and kids are there for a movie night.

Maybe you should leave—I think it’s time for you to leave. I don’t care where you go, but anywhere but here, in front of my eyes.

What?! You say there’s billions of women just like me, who say the exact same thing, and there’s no conceivable way to remove yourself from the eyesight of all of them?

Well since when is that my problem, sweaty??? Now go away, I can’t stand looking at you anymore!!