This is basically correct, and to steal a leftist concept, this marks the difference between an idealist (bluepilled) and materialist (blackpilled) conception of dating. The blue piller believes that intangibles like personality and character are predominantly responsible for romantic success, while the black piller knows that romantic success depends primarily on material conditions that are mostly beyond our control—looks and the sexual marketplace, and some people's conditions are so immutably bad that they'll end up empty-handed no matter what happens. If you're a looksmaxed short ugly guy in the age of Tinder where Chads are available even for ugly women, you're basically fucked, but that's not your fault, it's due to the fact that the environment you're in is intolerant of your material limitations. Telling guys like that to work on their personality is like telling the poor to pull themselves up by their bootstraps; it's a denial of the fact that systemic, material forces, not "virtue" or "personality," are primarily responsible for who gets laid and who doesn't.

Like rich conservatives calling poor people lazy, normies are so wedded to the idea that romantic success depends primarily on one's character that any man who can't get laid must be a bad or defective person in their eyes.